Wednesday, July 29, 2009

"Daddy, I want that"

In 1992 I walked away from that Arabian Horse Industry for good!

I made a decision that I would not take on anymore youth riders and their parents and I wanted to have nothing to do with the equitation part of training and showing as well and I wanted nothing more to do with the western/English "pleasure" part of it.

It was just a mentality that I was not wanting to deal with. The win at all costs without regards to the horses well being. Sanding their feet to a high gloss and shaving the horses damn near bald was in my mind, not in any way a benefit to the horse. But that was not all!

In 1992 I had a couple of youth riders showing in the Regional Arab show in Houston TX. We had 5 horses at the show, one of my riders was showing in the HUS class and my other rider was showing in the reining classes as well as the western pleasure classes. I had 3 adult amateur riders showing as well.

We would get to the show grounds early in the morning to take care of our horses and ride them around the grounds so they could have a good look around.

There was a trainer there with a horse that was also being shown by a youth rider who was friends with my riders. When we were in the arena working our horse this trainer was also in the arena working the girls mare as we left the arena the trainer was still working the mare who by now was sweating profusely. The trainer, in my opinion was abusive with his extensive use of the dressage bat that he loved to carry everywhere he went. Me being who I am said something to the trainer, who at that time decided to take the mare back to the barn.

Less than an hour later I saw this same trainer back on this mare in another arena working the shit out her. The whole time he was doing this, his rider and her parents stood by the rail and watched as this mare was worked into the ground. Finally a few hours later the trainer took the mare back to the barn to let her rest. From what I have heard the mare remained tacked and tied in her stall, but I am not sure of that. After the classes ended that day, this same trainer took this same mare out into the main arena and worked her well into the morning before putting her up. By the start of the days showing, this mare was dead!

And I will say that she was a really nice mare.

As far as to what actually killed this mare I am not sure and will not comment on it, though I have an idea what it was and that should be obvious. But that is not the point of this.

The point is, this was a mare that this girls father, from what I am told had paid over $120,000 so this girl could compete at a level that she wanted to compete at. When my youth rider went up to offer her friend her condolences on her mare. This young 12-14 year old girl looked my rider in the eye, smiled and said "That's OK, my daddy will buy me another horse".

That made me sick. Never in my life would I have ever imagined a child being taught that a life has only a monetary value and nothing more. I realized that day that there is a mind set out there that we have to win at all costs, no matter what.

But why?

I can tell you the I want my daughters to have everything they want or need, but they have to know that we can not always give them that. I refuse to buy them a win at a horse show or anywhere else. They are going to have to learn to lose graciously and win humbly. As do the rest of my riders. Yes we are into showing again and I do like to win, but I also know how to lose as that is part of this game.

Like everyone else, they are going to have to work hard and develop the skills that will help them achieve their goals. I still see it all of the time at shows, parents sparing no expense to give their child an over all advantage over other kids just for a blue ribbon.

I have heard parents tell trainers that they have spent a lot of money, so their precious child better win. It's no wonder trainers try to cheat their way into championships.

1,071 comments:

1 – 200 of 1071   Newer›   Newest»
horspoor said...

Okay, kind of threw up in my mouth over this one. First the mare dead...and then the child's reaction. How to raise accountable people. NOT!

Hey, you lasted longer than I did. I booked in late '84. I was at a point that I hated everybody that showed. I'd worked for a trader in Phoenix briefly. In some ways he was far far better to his horses than the show people I knew. They were a commodity to him, but you need to keep care of your assets if you want them to remain assets. Many of the show people just felt they were disposable. I can just get another one mentality. This one's lame, this one isn't winning...NEXT! Hated it.

I nutted up at the A to Z show on somebody one year. Yale was not happy. I got sent to the truck.

horspoor said...

OH....And FIRST!!!! lol

kestrel said...

And then we look at the extreme conformation of winners. What part of 'breed type' (as in the best example of a chosen breed) and 'extreme'(as in one exaggerated feature) should a judge place? Should be self evident to me, but hey, I pulled out of showing for the same reasons. Abused horses, judges that keep placing mutants, stupid riding styles, spoiled brats...grrr. Way too many of the show ring culls are unsound both mentally and physically, and bred and trained to be that way! WTF?

I was a Pony Club volunteer, instructor and DC. Our club got taken over by a well heeled bunch that go through horses like you wouldn't believe. Jumping really high is so fun...especially when they can't ride a canter on the flat. The real dedicated riders quit and the spoiled brat parents are in charge, trying to buy enough horse so their kid can win. They don't win anything anymore either. Sad, because some of the kids are not bad. They just follow their parents' lead. One really rich dude has a barn here and is renowned for screwing over his barn help. Jobs are scarce here, so he usually manages to find replacements for the 6 or 7 barn managers that quit...

JohnieRotten said...

Makes you wonder who theses kids ate really winning for.

kestrel said...

Some nice talented kids have had enough and quit because the gottawin parents just keep pushing too hard. Plus a couple of over horsed kids have been badly hurt. I really worry about a 12 year old that had a nice horse that her parents sold because they wanted her to 'progress.' They bought her an actual mankiller! For $75,000.00!!!! And they just can't understand why she's afraid of this 17 1/2 hand pile of Alpo!!!!!

SFTS said...

Good Lord...that reaction from the child is horrible, but it's not the child's fault. It's those @&%!@&%! parents (or lousy excuses for them).

That reminds me of something that happened up in town last year. My husband was driving home from a making a bid on a job for a client and noticed this teenage girl leading a chestnut horse along the side of the road in the weeds, when he saw the mare rear up, twist in the air and fall over on her side. He pulled over, ran to them and asked what happened, when the girl mentioned the horse was not moving: She was dead. He called me, I came over and unsaddled as well as unbridled the poor mare, then called the livestock hauler to come pick up her body. What was the girl doing? She was busy on the phone to her barrel racing trainer, asking to begin a search for her next barrel horse, because this one had "keeled over on her".

I have NO problem telling clients to take a walk if I do not agree with their ethics and morals. To me, the horses are what it's about, those blue ribbons and tri-colors are the icing on the cake. I have on occasion been faced with the client who pulls their horse from training because it did not win one class (no matter how many blue ribbons and championships the horse may have won previously), and I say good riddance. They are not the type of client I want in my string.

There is no excuse for working a horse into the ground, and any good trainer knows when enough is enough. But we have all seen the Cleve Wells' and Randy Byers' of the world. So many out there who have no business whatsoever being around horses, let alone accepting money for training them. That people will still send their horses to these sorts of folks I find incredulous. But like you say, it's that "anything for a ribbon" mentality.

SFTS said...

As you all know, I am still here in the Arabian world, plucking away. I love these horses so incredibly much, they have so much heart and so much soul that IMO no breed can compare. My personal preference (even though I do take in pretty much all breeds, and have a Paint gelding in training right now, too, just to illustrate that), though to me a good horse is a good horse no matter the breed. I personally just simply have no desire to own anything other than an Arabian horse.

I also tremendously enjoy the process of teaching young riders and coaching equitation as well as showmanship. For me it is all about the process and getting there in harmony with their horses. We're still trying to add in an Adult Amateur Eq and Showmanship division. :) I think it would encourage better horsemanship, too.

The fact that we do well, on to the upper levels, is a testament that you can go out there and compete without abusing horses, breaking the rules or cutting corners. That you don't have to have that "win at all costs" attitude to win, and that it really can be fun, along with having happy, healthy horses.

All that said, I am not against show preparation (including reasonable sanding, clipping and face highlighter...yes, I said reasonable ;) no balding!!), it just makes the picture that much more finished and polished looking. While doing so may not directly benefit the horse, if your prep does not harm the horse, I am okay with it. Just a part of good grooming and cleanliness, in my book. Never, EVER anything harmful to the horse!

You have such a grand approach to how you're dealing with your little girls and their future riding or show ring careers. :) I cannot stress the "losing graciously" part enough, along with being humble in victory!! Many years ago when I was still in the 12 & under ranks, showing my first flat saddle English horse, I learned a lesson I will never forget. All these years later it is still ingrained in my mind. I was sitting aboard my little grey Crabbet bred gelding waiting for the gate to open for my English Pleasure class, when a little girl about my age on a fancy chestnut mare with lots of chrome rode up to stand beside me. We exchanged a few words of small talk, and I blurted out, "I just hope he (motioning to my horse) doesn't buck me off!" That child turned to me, smiled widely and said, "Well I hope he does, because I like to WIN!" I was absolutely mortified. Long story short, I went out and won the class. :) But I never once gloated about it!!

fernvalley01 said...

Sick , When I was 13 I saved my babysitting money and bought my first horse , she wasn't the best of the best , or the most beautiful (exept to me ) but she was mine! My parents could have afforded to buy her for me easily , however they felt it would be bewtter for me to "invest myself in the project " 29 years later I am still avidly into horses , and never lost my joy or willingness to do the work.
How many of the Silver spoon kids , have the fond and wonderful memories of true relatonships with horses, do they understand what it means to form a trust bond or to , consider a horse a friend/part of youre family?

GoLightly said...

(applause)
Thanks, JR.
Thanks HP, you always can make me laugh at the worst stories, somehow? How do you do that??
I know, I know.. I gasp alot.

Feeegarrrroooooooooo...
:(
Poor mare. Nice settlement. Just why.
The mentality is kinda scarey.
To this old broad anyway.
To Your Horses. It's about horsemanship.
Where did that go?
(shivers)

You guys already know..

horspoor said...

You do have to wonder how much is the kids and how much is the parents. How much of that indifferent nonchalance regarding their horse's wellbeing is affected, because that is what is expected.

I've fired students. Some I fired because the kid was not kind. Others because they didn't want to be there, but mommy wanted them there. One little girl I kept for over a year after it was clear she wasn't interested in riding anymore. She'd ride in circles on my lesson horse telling me about what book she was reading. I think her hour with me was the only 'downtime' she had in her week.

She'd been in riding lessons from the time she was 4. I got her at 6. She was with me for at least 3 years. Was a good little rider. She just burned out. She was in ballet, gymnastics, soccer, piano, and violin. Those are the ones I can remember. "A" student, and in extra curricular academic programs too. Mom did charity work that the kid also helped out with. Super nice people. Mom and kid were some of my all time favorites...but man the kid needed a break. Her whole life was scheduled.

Cut-N-Jump said...

Well now, let's just see how many names I can come up with from just the past 7+ years that JR and I have been together....



>





Made you all wonder for a minute there, didn't I? ROFL.

There have been many, and sadly the majority of them circulate the Arabian industry. The "pretty" horses seem to attract the crazy-stoopid people.


HP- Do you remember waaaay back on Fugly about the Darwin woman and the Arabian horse? The list of bozo client things I posted and you asked my permission to print out for your tackroom door? Remember that? I could add a few more to that list. Bet you already have too.

GoLightly said...

Holly CRAP.
I was going to add a PS. I was.

JR isn't the only missing CNJ Posts. I was thinking it as I read the last thread.
and POOF, there ya are!

wow.
Magic..

GoLightly said...

Jeez, my fingers. JR isn't the only ONE... blah, blah, blah..

uh, oh..

GoLightly said...

14th
whew!

JohnieRotten said...

CNJ

Hey, when ya get home we are loading the truck and moving tonight. I looked out the back window and another horse burst into flames. Second one this month!

Damn this heat!

JohnieRotten said...

15th and 16th

CharlesCityCat said...

Well JR, you just made me cry again. That poor mare and that nasty ass kid.

I have seen some things here on the East Coast with the hunter crowd. Kids throwing ribbons in the trash can because it wasn't blue is one of my favs. Horses/ponies being schooled over fences until exhaustion sets in. Same thing as you have described just different discipline.

At a local show I was at one time, a girl was riding around and the horse tripped so badly that he went to his knees, after that, horse was obviously very lame and getting worse. I couldn't help myself (I didn't know which one was her trainer or I would have addressed it to them) but I shouted out to the rider to get off the horse. Her response, "my trainer said to stay on." My reply, what is more important, a ribbon or your horse. She got off and of course was crying but I don't feel bad.

JohnieRotten said...

CCC

I worked with the POA club here for a little while and the kids would have slumber parties and burn ribbons that were not red or blue.

I wanted to kick their little butts. When I would talk to the parents of those kids, they wold say 'Can you blame them?"

SFTS said...

>>> "Kids throwing ribbons in the trash can because it wasn't blue is one of my favs." <<<

There was recently a discussion on an Arabian forum about this sort of thing, and poor sportsmanship. It is against USEF rules to unceremoniously toss your ribbons on the ground, or in the trash cans, falling under "Acting or inciting in a manner deemed improper, unethical, dishonest, unsportsmanlike" and "Any act committed which is considered offensive". I think it's entirely disrespectful to whomever puts on the show, USEF sanctioned or not. :(

We have a policy that if ribbons won are not wanted, they are turned back into the sponsoring club for re-use the following show or next season. A lot of folks don't want to collect ribbons, they tend to pile up after a certain number of years and can take up a lot of space. Donating them back seemed like a reasonable alternative.

JohnieRotten said...

When I had a several youth riders I would make them keep their ribbons no matter what color they were. I would have them write their favorite memories of what happened at the shows and what they learned on any ribbon that was not blue or red. Many of those kids kept those ribbons into adulthood as a reminder that no matter how they places, they still had fun. The parents loved that idea.

Afterall, that is what it is all about.

Cut-N-Jump said...

GL- I'm feelin' the love again. Thanks!

The POA club was another whole group in and of itself. If you weren't throwing money around, then you weren't part of the clique.


CCC- we were at a show once and JR's client was showing her mare HUS. This one rider kept repeatedly edging her out of the ribbons. Finally the last class of the night our gal won the class.

The other rider? Well she took her horse out to the far reaches of the warm up arena and whipped and otherwise beat the crap out of the horse.

All over one lousy, local, club show class...

CharlesCityCat said...

That is the way it should be and I totally agree. This should really be put into the program for any show, if you don't want your ribbons for any reason, please return to show management. Maybe that way, people, parents, trainers or spectators will keep an eye out for the really poor sports who trash them just to be nasty.

JR:

Those kids definitely need an ass-whomping.

horspoor said...

My mom was always very supportive, never pushy or a horse show mom. My stepfather on the other hand was not so nice. I remember Jurheil and I came back from a show...I'd placed second. My stepfather said, "We didn't invest in this for you to come in second." Same guy that when I came home with straight 'A's threw my report card on the dining room table and said, "That's how it should be." And walked off. I think that was the beginning of my "watch this" stage. 'You didn't like me when I was trying to be good...watch this.'

JR can tell you what the little 'clique' neighborhood I grew up with were like. He got stuck there himself for awhile. Looking back, man those people were harsh. All nice on the surface. Some even seemed ditzy and 'harmless'...don't you believe it. It was all about the ribbons, and who's who, and what trainer, and bloodlines.

SFTS said...

I've kept every ribbon I have ever earned on one of my own horses. Of course, students and clients keep their own ribbons, or those won by me on their horses. I always write the date of the show, the name of the class, how many horses were in the class and the horse's name on the back of each ribbon. They mean the world to me, and there is a story behind each and every one of them.

Probably my favorite ribbon of all time was a fifth place. Yep, a "measely" pink ribbon. I was an 11 year old kid, competing on an "outdated" Egyptian/Crabbbet bred Arab gelding as a Hunter horse in a huge English Pleasure class against all big name trainers of the day. This was before you couldn't put Hunters in an EP class, and pre-CEP. Four of the most well known trainers in Southern California placed 1st through 4th. And there I was in fifth on my little Hunter horse. :) I still smile thinking back on that show!

I think that's a great idea, CCC. We have a show coming up on Saturday with one of the horsemen's associations locally, and another coming up in late September with the other local horsemen's club. I'll make a suggestion at the next meetings to do just that.

horspoor said...

JR...I'm stealing your ribbon idea. I like the idea of writing the memories and what you learned. Very, very good.

I tell students I have three rules, the rest are 'sub-rules' of the main three.

1. No people get hurt.
2. No horses get hurt.
3. Have fun.

JohnieRotten said...

You HP

I agree with your rules. But I have has parents that I could have sworn that their kid gets hurt at the show so they would have an excuse for their kid not doing well.

We had on child that would only show if mommy bought Hee a Barbie doll. Someone told mr that kid would get the Barbie and rip it's head off. This kid has screaming fits in the arena and I would go pull her off of her horse because mom did not want to the the bad mommy.

That mommy was a real piece if work.

horspoor said...

Man. I don't get some people. My mom would have snatched me off the horse by my hair if I ever had a screaming fit. lol Uh..oh yeah...I did get snatched off a horse when I was about 6 for just that reason.

Later she was far more subtle, no less effective. I was riding the Lip mare. In all my superior 19 year old glory. I was irritated. Mare wasn't doing what I wanted. My mom stood on the balcony watch for a few. I said something along the lines of, "Stupid horse." My mom calmly said, "Yes, I know. The horse is only as good as the rider." Sounding quite sympathetic and walked back in the house. Well hell, right through the heart. She was so right.

endure_2_the_end said...

I showed Saddlebreds and Morgans as a kid - the ribbon I was proudest of a was a 4th place, b/c the little chestnut mare I was riding had never been in a show before, and in fact was unrideable for lessons when she first came to the barn - very spooky, flighty, like horsie ADD. So I spent lots of time on her (even trail riding her to get her mind out of the whole show-horse rut). So in our first class (Equitation) at her first show (Harvest Days in Tampa, FL), she was doing ok until it came time to canter. And then she choked. But I stuck with it and stayed calm, and we got it! I didn't expect to place at all, but I was so proud of her for not freaking and me for being calm, I didn't even care. I was grinning like a fool. Then they called my # for 4th place - I didn't even realize until my trainer started cheering me! ha ha! Too funny.
My other memories of horse shows are 1. getting the tops of my paddock boots taped around my ankles (for neater presentation) and feeling like my circulation was cut off and 2. my mom running to the bathroom to throw up almost every time I entered the ring, from nerves. She is too funny. She used to do the same thing when I was in dance recitals as a little kid. Ha!

CharlesCityCat said...

CNJ:

That story is very upsetting. How dare they do that to a horse who had performed so well thoughout the day. I hate, and I do mean hate people like that. I have never seen anything like that, I don't know what I would do if I ever saw that.


As far as ribbons at horse shows, it only makes sense to turn your ribbons back in. Competitions are costly to whoever puts it on. Judges, ribbons, announcers and all of the labor involved in putting one on costs money. It helps any venue to turn the ribbons in for later use, no matter what the reason. Now ribbons that have special dates and events on them are different.


I have always written brief notes on the back of each ribbon and have all of them as well. It is an interesting time line and I am such a nostalgic sap.

My Favorites:

-- Whinnie's first ever show, doing baby green hunter 2'0. The first class we trotted the entire round as we had almost no chance to decently school in the chaos that existed during schooling. We won the class out of 14.

--State Fair grounds in Richmond, very competitive, huge show. Spunky and I were doing Open, did not school except to jump each jump one time in the direction of course A. More than 40 in the class. We got honorable mention and a jog, We were in the ribbons until a really good local pro came in with a client's horse.

--Last but not least, Spunky and I doing a 3'0 warmup division (no flat class), I sucked the first course, came out and my wonderful trainer said "just let him go FCS", I did and we won course B. That was out of 35, including a number of horses that showed regular on the A circuit which I could never afford to do. We came out of the ring after the course and my trainer smacked me upside my head and said "see what happens if you do what I say"

Geez, I might have to break into a chorus of Memories by Barbara Streisand.

Naw, don't want to offend anyone. LOL

Serendipity said...

Okay, I'm guilty of the ribbon thing. The only ones hanging on my walls are the champion and reserves- all the individual class ribbons are stuffed in boxes in the basement, because I have too little wall space. If you've seen one fifty-cent ribbon, you've seen them all.

I decided long ago I was content to just participate in the open shos around here. I get so stressed and see so many idiots I just don't think I could deal with the higher levels. My trainer's kids used to show regional and state and even they needed breaks now and then.

GoLightly said...

I have three ribbons that I kept. The rest I used for my schooling shows, gave 'em to my kids..

I've kept my first ribbons ever won, two fourths, 1969 Maple Valley Green Jumpers, and my first "first", no idea when I won it, 1970? crap, that's ancient, eh?.
Rest went to the students, or stayed with the horse owners.

I gave out ribbons for horsemanship. Horse knowledge is just as important, jmo.

horspoor said...

I only have a few medals and belt buckles left, I think two trophies. I think the plates and goblets are in boxes somewhere. Most of my trophies I put new brass plates on for leadliners. They didn't care if it was a reiner or pleasure horse or whatever the trophy was for. Some of them were bigger than the kids receiving them. My friend Sabrina and I ironed all our old ribbons so they looked presentable and gave them to kids at schooling shows and gymkhanas. All little kids get blues at schooling/clinics by the way. They get walked through, talked through the classes regarding what they need to be doing, or thinking about...but they all win at days end. We also give out bags of baby carrots for the horse participants.

I haven't done one of these in 5 or 6 years. Probably time to start these little clinic shows up again. We actually get some pretty decent judges to volunteer their time. Got Nancy Alto to do a clinic gratis a few years back. She was great. Was a good fund raiser for the horse show program and to help people with the costs of going to the shows.

Hmmm? Wonder what Nancy has going this winter? lol

joanna said...

Boy, I guess I was really lucky growing up! My parents could never afford a nice made horse, so I had a decent greenie and one lesson a week. My trainer gave me homework to do and then review the next week. On the plus side, I learned a lot about training! My trainer always made sure parents and students understood that showing was not about ribbons, but to be used as a tool to see how your horse's training was progressing. Every show was dissected at the following lesson. We found where our weaknesses were and worked on them. Even if I won and thought my horse and I were perfect, he would always say " It could of been better and here's why". Boy he was tough! And usually right.

Kaede said...

Umm, before you castigate the parents or child for throwing fits, be aware of the history of the whole child and the parent/child relationship.
Beloved son (now 19) had (and still has on rare occasions) complete meltdowns over a scrap of onion touching his hotdog. I mean "throw the hotdog down on the ground and collapse screaming" kind of melt down. I started just handing out CPS cards with my name and number on them because so many people told me I was a witch and a child abuser. The CPS knew me, as the they know so many people with handicapped children. Because the kid is hollowed eyed, or refuses to eat or eats ONLY beige food, or is wearing dirty clothes(ever try to make an Autistic kid wear clean clothes?) or, or, or,...
If didn't give in I was a "refrigerator" mom, if I did I was "creating a monster".
I'm not suggesting that the cases mentioned aren't instances of poorly behaved kids.
But if a Marie Antoinette doll keeps your kid happy, why not go with the flow. Many 11 year old girls love to torture Barbie. It seems to be a rite of passage.

horspoor said...

LOL Kaede...I could probably torture a Barbie now.

I wasn't being anything but a brat when my mom jerked me off the horse. I refused to get off my pony. I was defiant, and when told it was time to go inside I had a fit and fell in it. My mom drug me off the pony and steered me out of the barn. Done, over...rotten kid didn't get to ride the next day. I didn't even get to untack and put my pony up.

joanna said...

Kaede- I know only to well what you mean. My son falls within the autistic spectrum. There was a time we didn't know what would set him off or what he would (over)react to. It was incredibly frustrating. I got really tired of the comments about my parenting skills or lack there of. They really didn't understand I have to truly pick my battles.

To add to your or, or, or... won't wear shirts with buttons, if you can get him to where anything at all. Yeesh. My mom refers to him as nature boy.

What's a CPS card?

Kaede said...

Child Protective Services. We got so use to people reporting us to CPS ["I just saw these people abusing their kid, They went to Hardees and DIDN'T get him anything. (Only chicken nuggets he will eat to this day are Wendy's) he is SCREAMING and they strapped him into his car seat... license plate A*U*T*I*S*M) that we carried CPS cards with us to hand out. There is now a car sticker that does much the same thing.

joanna said...

Ah, gotcha. I could have used a shirt like that, that he would wear all the time. He wasn't diagnosed until he was 5, and they found he has ADHD and ODD on top of it. There's a debate weather he has OCD, or if it's the PDD. All I know is that I'm sick of the hoarding. I live in fear of garbage days, because he's always going through the trash and recycling to see what is being thrown out. Because it's all useful. Really? That broken up, smelly old milk bottle is good for something? On what planet?

joanna said...

Oh, and the hour long tantrums. Thank goodness his pediatrition saw one. That one lasted an hour and a half. The entire office and half of Ohio witnessed it. It's kind of scary to look into your child's eyes and realize he's not there. All there is is a wall. Blank. Before that day no one believed me.

horspoor said...

Whoa. That would be tough. Hard enough the occasional meltdowns kids have, and they all have them.

My son flopped down on the floor at Kmart over a toy I wouldn't buy when he was about 3 years old. I was mortified. My beautiful lovely baby and he's pitching an epic fit over a Transformer. Sincerely had a moment of thinking I'd just buy it to stop the fit.

A 'grandma' looking person came down the aisle. Smiled at me, and said "Don't you do it. He can live without that toy." Yes Ma'am. Grabbed him up and out of the store we went. I look back now and think...man if I'd given in to the impulse to just stop the fit how much grief would I have bought down the line.

I almost folded over one fit...I don't know what I'd do if it was regular, and the child truly had no way to control it. Heartbreaking. You ladies have my utmost respect.

Now that my son is a teen (oh and smarter than the rest of the universe...just ask him) we have different fits. He does something stupid, or doesn't do something he was supposed to do...and then says something along the lines of, "I really just want to have a nice evening mom." Like his screw up and the consequences for it are my fault, and I'm unreasonable. I was in the kitchen, broiling him a t-bone steak when he said this. Had a moment...it almost went in the trash half cooked.

Kaede said...

Dear son is on meds for his OCD. A true Godsend. He wasn't in to hording things (I'm going to be so unpopular but I really do believe the crazy cat lady with 1000 starving cats has OCD. She NEEDS fluoxetine hydrochloride, then she'll get rid of the cats. Really.) he was into scrubbing his hands after touching anything. All those lectures about germ theory went home with him. By the time he was nine he couldn't sleep through the night because his hands would touch his sheets. He would fall asleep (hands held in the air) hands would hit the sheets, he would wake up, climb out of bed, wash his hands and the cycle would start over. He turned his hands into lobster claws, they was nasty, but sterile.

horspoor said...

So the meds helped with that? They can break that cycle?

Kaede said...

'You bet. Works like a charm. One of the "biggies" is to get to work on the OCD before it has "worn a groove" into the brain. OCD is an anxiety disorder. You do weird stuff to relieve anxiety [I might need the string (old newspapers, mason jars, check stubs)].
Once that groove is there, it is the default setting to relieve the anxiety.
OCD isn't nearly as much fun as "Monk" makes it appear. They all know it's (what ever their obsession is) is dumb, or dangerous, they can't help it.

horspoor said...

Things we do, or think repeatedly do actually become 'hardwired' in the brain. It is really difficult to undo that hardwiring. Seriously, just try to go through a day without a negative thought. Or only turn lights on with your left hand, vs your right. It's bizarre.

PrairieFarmer said...

Kaede and Joanna -
You two have my utmost respect! Dealing with a child with those issues is no cakewalk that is for sure. My husband's brother has a son with aspbergers (sp?). I can remember how intense every family get together was for them. I thought he and his wife did so amazing with him, they were very strict and very regimented with him yet amazingly patient when he started freaking out. He just graduated high school and is doing very well, off to some sort of computer tech school and hopes to land a job creating computer programming. Which he probably will, because he is, like many of those kids, frighteningly brilliant, even if socially he is much more at ease playing with his much younger cousins (ages 3-7), then he is with kids his own age. But all the little cousins sure think he is great!

PrairieFarmer said...

Last winter I remember perusing horse ads and I saw an ad for an Arabian, something like $20,000, which the ad said was half off the purchase price from a year ago. Ad said they were selling the horse because child had lost interest. I thought WTF????
And I read the comments and see where parent's buy even more expensive horses for their kids? Frightening! I think $5000 would probably be about the limit I would go. Can get a darn lot of good horses for $5000, at least these days. And even then, kid has to work to pay me back.
I don't care how much money you have, I think it is SUCH a disservice to your kids to not give them an understanding of what money means. That is doesn't just grow on trees.
My brother, when he was in his early 20s living in China, called one day and told my mother how there was this great business opportunity that he could get in on real early, for hardly any money, and it was just a sure thing, blah, blah, blah...How much did he want? "Just $100,000" he told my mom. My mom laughed her ass off. She told him, "Honey, even if you had asked for $10,000 we wouldn't have had it. Maybe $1,000! But $100,000!!! How much money do you think we have just laying around???"
And the funny thing was, my parent's never spoiled my brother or I in the sense of the expensive horse, or car, or what not...But they did send my brother to a very expensive ivy league school, which gave him, I think the really wrong idea about what they had (they went into debt to do it, of course!). And it did him no service. Going to a fancy school didn't help him get a job, it just gave him false expectations about life when he didn't have a rich family to fall back on!

BuckdOff said...

There was a very fancy out of control Morgan at the show I attended last night. He was obviously very expensive, gorgeous, so of course, I said to my instructor, "OMG. I love him, I want him.." She said,"Um, no, you don't, watch him." He misbehaved all the way around the ring, causing his rider to finally dismount, she had to wait until every horse left the ring..he was ready to explode, didn't want to lead...we were all aghast..he was very pretty though!

joanna said...

We put our son on Risperdal for his tantrums.
They went from about 3 or 4 one hour long ones a week to a ten minute tantrum every once in a while. My nerves are a lot less frayed these days (wellbutrin helps, too). PF- you are so right. Kids like this do tend to have an extremely high IQ. It's hard to get him to actually study, because of his ODD. He hates homework and will fight you all night. However, when he grasps something, he really takes off with it. For example reading. In kindergarten and first grade it was a battle to get him to try to read. At the start of second grade he was at beginning first grade level. Then he stopped fighting and actually tried. At the end of second grade he reads at 7 grade level. Now if he would just do that with math! I know part of the problem is that he has problems with short term memory. It's not so good. I guess that's a problem with autism. But his long term memory is outstanding, as is his power of observation. Nothing gets by this kid.
Kaede, have you tried giving him melatonin before bed? There have been studies done for kids with autism and fragile x syndrome. Apparently it improved the bedtime ritual, shortening it considerably, and helping them get a good, solid night of sleep. We spend about 2 hours getting our son into bed and sometimes we'll wake up at 2 or 3 o'clock in the morning to find him watching cartoons. They noted in the study that behavior improved as well. We started giving him 5 milligram tablets (the kind that dissolve under the tongue, since he can't swallow a pill) 3 nights ago. I'll reserve judgement for about a month or so until I can see if it really works. He has been getting to bed easier, though.

Why do parents overschedule their kids with activities? Haven't they ever heard of moderation? How happy can those kids be? Or is it really all about them? "Look at what a good and attentive parent I am. I give my kids everything they want." I know some kids do push to do everything, I can see our daughter doing that. She loves sports (at 5) and wants to try everything, plus play piano, ride horses, take dance classes, etc. We're reining her in. One sport a season, riding (because she really does love it), and dance. The rest of the time, go play! Use your imagination! I will not be a taxi system, shuttling her from one activity to another. My son is easier that way. He's an artist. He likes to watch sports, not play. My husband once threw a ball to him and he ducked. Give him a pad of paper and colored pencils, or a piano, or a sand box and he's good. Oh, and his bike. He loves his bike.

Kaede said...

After Dear Son (why do I sound like a North Korean?) got his OCD under control, we didn't have a hard time with bedtime. I do know a number of parents who swear by melatonin. I've seen it work. One kid would pace ALL NIGHT LONG. He would drop in his tracks sleep for an hour then back to paceing. He been on melatonin for over a decade, it works for him.
I can't speak for everyone, but there is lots of pressure for uppermiddle class kids to be overscheduled. You are looked at funny if you don't have your kid in Odyssey of the Mind, chess club,cotillion, lacross (or swimming/tennis/golf) Battle of the Books, church youth group, world language club and your choice of service activity. Dear Daughter #4 likes Japanese, comic books and drawing. She loves to combine all three activities, drawing comic books in Japanese. I'm OK with this, she get a great job with Dark Horse some day. I do get called into the her school couselor office about twice a year and asked "How do you expect DD#4 to get into a good (read "your choice of Harvard,Princeton or Yale")college if she has no after school activities!? I really threw her first grade school counselor for a loop when asked "What do you want DD#4 to be when she grows up? and I replied "Happy". The school counselor later told me she was expecting "doctor, lawyer, economist some sort of profession for pete's sake not "happy".

WiltedZebra said...

Kaede and Joanna, I can totally relate. My niece has asbergers and OCD. I watch her during the days (7:30-4:00) while my sister works. She is now six and has moved very slowly from dirty clothes to pajamas and now we are in the white phase. Everything touching her must be white. No color of any sort, none. Trash picking, hoarding and meltdowns are all things that I am intimately familiar with. We have graduated out of beige foods and are experimenting with foods that have different textures. Some days go really well, others are challenging for everybody. That is the price we pay for having such unique and creative people in our lives. We are super lucky though because our cousin has has degrees in therapeutic rec and psych. She runs a city based program for kids with disabilities in a major Ohio city. She has been invaluable to us and as a result of her guidance and personal knowledge of the child, we are making steady progress.

Kaede said...

I remember when we introduced Dear Son to green peas. First step have the green peas in the kitchen with him. That's it, just the peas in the same room with him. Slowly, oh so slowly, we moved to having the peas in a bowl on the table to finally having ONE pea on his plate, not eating the pea, just having it sit there on his plate. You know how schools now have peanut butter free zones now, we needed a green veggie free zone. Why on earth green veggies? Tomatoes, cauliflower or kiwis (so much for the it can't be green idea)didn't bother him, just green veggies.

joanna said...

You know what's really the hardest part? School. Kids who don't understand your kid and tease him about his quirks. Getting a teacher that will work with you and your discipline program, and getting an IEP (going through the very confusing process). Fortunatley, we have a friend who has a special needs child and has been through it, plus works for an advocate agency. She KNOWS people. Our school is one of the good ones. They are more than happy to work with us to get the best for our son. The fact that they love him (he's really a great kid) really helps.

If your kid spends more time in the car than having fun and learning, your overscheduled. How are we to raise a generation of forward thinking and inventive people if they aren't allowed to use their imaginations while growing up? As I tell my kids- "boredom can be a good thing. That's when you come up with your best ideas!" Or worst, depending if your the child or the adult.

joanna said...

For our son it's meat. If it has been pre-processed, ie. chicken nuggets, hamburger patty or hot dog, he'll eat it. A piece of pork chop? He chews it forever then spits out the pulp. EEWW!

He can't where neck ties or high collared shirts. He lies of the floor choking. He should be wearing a tie to church by now, but I think God will understand.

Kaede said...

I think your kids are too young to have faced this much yet, but we would get calls from school asking us to "do something" about Dear Son. While he was in school, like he is stimming on his pencil point and won't take the spelling test. No shit Sherlock, I'm 3 miles away and by the time I wend my way through city traffic, the spelling test will be over. "If he doesn't finish the test he will fail it" no duh, guess what, Dear Son doesn't care and neither do I. Find a better way to see if he can spell the words like the suggestion I gave you last week, let him dictate the words to someone else or let him type the words. Is this a SPELLING test or a handwriting test?

joanna said...

Yeah, we're having problems in handwriting. After discussing it with the school, he may be taking tests on the computer, instead. I decided writing isn't all that important. The rest of his education is.

I think a lot of schools have come a long way in regards to special needs kids. There is more of an understanding and a willingness to find the best way to educate a child. Our school system is that way. At least we're not just throwing kids like ours into an institution and walking away.

Kaede said...

You'll get that pressure again when he is a senior in high school. Dear Son was one of the first kids to be diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome. Before, oh, I believe 1995, If you could talk you couldn't be on the Autism spectrum. Only Kanner's existed. So I was just a bad parent or a victim of circumstance,and NEEDED my son taken away from me so I could get on with my life. The powers that be ignored I have three normalish (I study artificial intelligence and information science, Dear Husband is a Astronomer turned computer software engineer. We spend a great deal of time throwing around terms such as metadata, neural networks, ontological engineering. No kid in that environment is going to come away "unscathed")who daughters. Think that just having Dear Son disappear one day with no contact would bug them? I sure as heck did.
Well, when Dear Son was in 12 grade the "When are you going to put him away" question reared it ugly head again. In so far Dear Son is still living with us. Working as a potter apprentice right now. He likes it, his potter likes it so we think everyone should be happy. Voc Rehab isn't happy, but, tough.

rosesr4evr said...

Flying Fig,
I have repeatedly asked for you to e-mail they who are not named so as not to muddy up the board. I even PMed you on FiSH due to your requests:


flying fig said...
roses... with all due respect, you really need to drop this as per the request of the one who is in contact with BnB and her mother on an almost daily basis and knows the situation from the inside... which you do not. None of this rehashing/re-investigating is helping - but she is.

The one of whom you speak would like very much to address you in PRIVATE. So now AGAIN I request you to speak with this person by e-mail. Otherwise you can shut up about things of which you have no idea.

Cut-N-Jump said...

CCC- I sucked the first course, came out and my wonderful trainer said "just let him go FCS", I did and we won course B. That was out of 35, including a number of horses that showed regular on the A circuit which I could never afford to do. We came out of the ring after the course and my trainer smacked me upside my head and said "see what happens if you do what I say"


My first show on the 'red giraffe', we were a bit fast in the first class, took a breather of a couple classes came back for our second and was still out of the ribbons.

Guess what I heard? "Leave her alone and stay out of her way. She knows how to do her job, yours is to just stay on and enjoy the ride."

Yeah, we pulled a third in the last class of the day. I went in smiling a big stupid grin and just enjoyed riding my horse.

Again- "See what happens when you do as you're told."

Cut-N-Jump said...

Kaede & Joanna- you both have a tough road ahead of you with surely more than enough potholes and speed bumps. So far it seems you are both navigating the obstacles fairly well.

While many of us may not understand everything you have or will face, I applaud your ability to do what is best for your children. Every kid should have it so good!

Dena said...

Oh roses FF has no intention of emailing you, or the one she makes reference of, or any of the other parties.
She just likes to spout off about things she does not have a clue about.
As evidenced by her posts.
Good work though. Really.
I mean that seriously and sincerely. I am in awe of your research skills and inherent sense of right and wrong.

FV the pictures I finally looked. The Afghan hound looked like Don King.
Very funny...
And thank you.

You know Kaede I applaud you and the others unconventional stance with regard to your family's "right" to determine what is right for your family.
Who knew that so many would approve putting away what is deemed imperfect by society by merit of what is also deemed by society as defect of birth.
It is a sad statement on society that love and care of ones own family are deemed transferable responsibilities.
It is an even ruder shock when ones own family supports the putting away of what they do not choose to see with eyes of love but instead perceive to be a burden.
Bless all of you who see that so very differently.

JR I will stop hijacking your blog with regard to the other individual.
If necessary I will create another place.
Pandoras Box, can of worms, any way you wish to refer it, it is most unpleasant.

It is refreshing and heartening to see that it has become something that the majority does not wish to indulge in.
I would not exactly call that a "Planning Fail."

And just so no one thinks I am engaging in ass kissing techniques.
FF you are a hypocrite and closet shit stirrer.
That more than anything is what gives me a headache when reading your offerings.
So tagalong that and see that I am not right in my assessment, opinion, and conclusion.

For now I have horses to work and tack to sort.
Have a "Good" day everyone.
So much more rewarding than some of what takes place in cyberland.

joanna said...

People from the outside who have never had to deal with things like this, though their heart may be in the right place, really don't understand. You just get so tired. My son's Ped. always asks the parents how we are doing. He puts us in contact with each other for support. He tells us to put the kids in daycare and get a job/hobby. Get out, get away. Or it'll kill us.
We only have 2 kids. Our daughter is considered overactive, but lovable, to many. To us she's oh so calm. That and everything isn't an argument with her.
And that would be why horses are so important to me. Somedays, when the boy was at his worst, I ended up in the barn sticking my nose into my horse's neck and sniffing. Better than Chanel no.5! Then I could face the whole thing again.

When I was in college I was on the Equestrian team. At one show I pulled a horse who was quite sweet and really steady, but jumped with his head high. Now, back then I had a habit jumping ahead. On the first fence with that horse, smack. Nose meet neck. It hurt. My coach was grinning ear to ear when I came out and said "That's the best way to learn to wait, isn't it?" My nose hurt the rest of the day.

Cut-N-Jump said...

Joanna- As long as the Chanel no. 5 you refer to doesn't have this affect, I think we are all good!

They were talking about it on the radio this morning. One guys said it smelled like ass and baked crap. Lovely images, aren't they?

Cut-N-Jump said...

Sorry, my bad.

"Smells like a turd wrapped in burnt hair."

flying fig said...

roses - I just now saw your PM... and will reply after I answer here. I do not get email notification of such things... and it is not as if Yuku screams HEY! whenever you have one in your inbox...

Where did you ask for email? I am sorry - I do not keep up with all this as so many obviously do. It has been over 100 degrees out and I have a job to do and horses to care for. Mindboggling, I know. Blog drama rates waaaay down the line in order of importance. It is over 85 degrees in here. I have no A/C. Humblest apologies for not spending time on the computer and keeping up with all the drama.... not.

And yet you howl at me for not responding instantly to every demand...

All I did was suggest that this all not be spread across the interwebz for all to see - especially as there was a minor involved. Who knew that was an evil thought? I only knew that HnH had been trying to help out there - for months - and that was it. With all the concerns about The Minor I did not see it as a great idea that it be spread even further.... when some of you jumped on the bandwagon and made it your cause...

>> She just likes to spout off about things she does not have a clue about.<<

Dena- all I did was voice my concerns - and nothing more. You continue to find fault with everyone who does not agree with your every word or applaud you for your investigations ... and love to belittle at every opportunity. There is no need for that. It reflects extremely badly - on you.

>>FF you are a hypocrite and closet shit stirrer.
That more than anything is what gives me a headache when reading your offerings.
So tagalong that and see that I am not right in my assessment, opinion, and conclusion.<<


Wow. You go out of your way to attack people and sneer and condemn and then call ME a shit stirrer? Just for having concerns about the gleeful bashfest that was involving a minor? Which you and others were outraged about - and yet persisted in spreading all over the place far beyond the very small pool it had been in? ? Unfreakingbelievable.

Your assessment, opinion and conclusions are all so far wrong that they are out of sight - and patting yourself on the back for that wisdom does not make it true.

This is getting seriously OTT. And out of control. And well... sad.

Dena - you are every bit the cyberbully you profess to hate. You threaten. You sneer. You insult. But all that is okay if you or a chosen few are doing it. The hypocrisy of that is obvious to all.

See what happens when you try to ignore and carry on, GL? You just get jumped for it. Because God forbid you do not check in on what the latest demands are from a select few - and answer to them IMMEDIATELY!!

What Dena thinks she is so cleverly alluding to is that my SN on Yuku is tagalong - and has been that for many years. I could not be tagalong on Blogger as some one had the nerve to already use it! ;-) And so I went with another dog's name. Big whoop, I know. But apparently it is to some... and it was never a secret - why should it be? Yet we must all realize it is a sign of something dastardly....

I would NEVER post my email on here - as those who delight in bullying and investigation would jump all over it.... and God only knows who they would harrass. But yes, I have shared it. With those who do not make such things a tool for their "investigations" and sneer campaigns.

Sorry JR - I should not have replied. But this is getting to be a bit much.

And now back to the only IMPORTANT stuff...

Kaede & Joanna... thank you so much for sharing your stories - it makes it easier for those on the outside to appreciate the difficulties and small victories as well. I volunteer with kids with similar issues - and have nothing but admiration for how their parents handle the situation no matter what gets thrown their way... their love and support is always an inspiration to me...

joanna said...

Which is why the lunacy here makes great read. Because it's all really petty. The only thing at stake here (except for the minor) is egos. After the daily to-do's here, there are no egos. There is surviving. So Dena (I'm so gonna get flamed for this), put a sock in it. Your posting of fugly's name and address was classic stalking and cyber bullying. Bad form. Really, really bad form.

SFTS said...

I concur with FF, many thanks to both you Joanna and to Kaede for sharing. Both of you have my utmost respect and you both are incredibly inspiring!

Plus FF and Joanna, you're spot on as well.

I'm headed back out soon to ride the rest and finish up lessons for the day. Tomorrow is show prep day and then our Great Longeline Adventure commences on Saturday! :)

Cut-N-Jump said...

Joanna & Kaede- while the behaviors you have both dealt with, with your own children and others with the same issues, the child that JR and I dealt with, was no more than an spoiled brat with no sense of respect.

Her mother showed no respect to her mother, so the child would talk back to both mom and g'ma, swing at them, punch them, slap, bite, scratch and otherwise fight everything because it was a way to get attention. After the doll, ice cream or otherwise 'reward' was offered and promised- she would give anyone in range a look of 'see I got my way'.

It wasn't until the Mom gave up pushing the child towards horses and just rode for herself and showed, that the child wished to become involved again, only with a slightly different attitude.

And yes, the kid got pulled off the horse more than once. By myself, JR and her mother.

Dothehappydance said...

SFTS

Could you please stop the blow by blow play shit. Posting is fine but that bullshit just gets old. I have the feeling no one cares about your day.

Dothehappydance said...

Sorry JR. I can not take that anymore.

CharlesCityCat said...

CNJ:

Tis amazing how well it works when you ride like a good pro teaches you too. Goodness me, all it took was staying out of Spunky's face, leg on and wait for the jump. Well there was also not letting him fall in around the turns. I had a hard time realizing how important riding a turn correctly was. With Spunk, if I just kept him balanced through the turn, the strides were right on the money, every frickin time.

I have to ride Whinnie a bit different through the turns, we go just a bit inside of the perfect turn, still balanced and not sharp just come in a tad before I would on a horse with a bigger stride. Works really well for her.

I am hearing echoes of my fab trainer Don. Damn it, moved away, I still miss him.

Kaede said...

Joanna one reason I started riding again was to get a life and an identity out side of "being a parent to an autistic child" Didn't matter how many children I showed through the local art museum, (a great part time job by the by, very quiet)I was always the "parent of the weird kid". The stable where I ride knows of my son,[the 6'2", ZZ Tops bearded(try to get an Austist to shave I DARE YOU)Easter Egg hunting, young adult) but they know me as a rider. As my son gets older these relationships out side of the world of handicapped kids/teens are going to be more necessary.

joanna said...

That would be a kid who should spend some time in a military school. I would have absolutely no problem doing it. Good for you to rip her off her horse. I wish I had been as brave when I was a teen and saw another kid beating on her horse and having a fit.

Which reminds me of a girl I knew a few years ago. She boarded at a hunt farm owned by a more upper crust dealer. I was the grunt labor that kept some of the hunt horses fit for the weekend warrior owners. She and a friend had come back from watching the Maclay finals. She set up the same course at home and proceeded to jump her horse over it. He kept bulging his shoulder out around the corners. So she lays into him, kicking him hard, spurs first, and jerking him hard in the mouth. She was screaming at him. At this point I was in college and developed a loud and opinionated mouth my Scottish ancestors would of been proud of. I "informed" her that if the horse had a better rider, he would go better. That she had no business riding and showing at that level until she actually knew what the h*** she was doing. I then told her trainer what she did. As far as I know, she never did it again. But then again, I wasn't there everyday.

SFTS said...

For crying out loud, as I told you JR, damned if I do, damned if I don't.

If you don't like my comments, "happydance", by all means DON'T read them. As for "not being able to take" my comments any longer {*eyeroll*}, when I mention whatever I happen to mention on any given day, at any given time, on any given subject, I have but one thing to say to you: Get a life.

*off to ride the last few horses, give a couple of lessons, then evening stall cleaning and finishing up*

Hoof Kisser said...

SFTS If I didn't believe you to be mentally ill, I would know you are a complete Bitch.

CharlesCityCat said...

Kaede and Joanna:

Just want to say how much I admire your dedication to your children. I have no idea at all about how difficult your road has been or will continue to be. The only thing I can say is that it takes really special people to do what you have and are continuing to do.

****I am tipping my hat to both of you***

Dena said...

joanna I can only assume that you did not read long enough to know for yourself that fugly made part of her living doing that to others.
The only real difference is, that she was completely unprovoked in her attacks on other completely unknown to her individuals that she cyber stalked before featuring.
As for what you may think of me have I given the slightest indication that I care?
Because I do recall you from there.

SFTS you will never shut up will you?
Have you somehow convinced yourself that the posters here can't live without your presence and input?
You would be funny if you were not so completely ridiculous.
Far be it for me to tell you that the world you claim to live in DOES NOT EXIST!

Hoofkisser-well said...

SFTS said...

"Hoof Kisser", you're just soooooooo kyooot and sweet! Does something have your panties in a twist this week? Hmmm... ;)

I agree with you entirely, CCC. Hats off to Kaede and Joanna. I am so blessed to have the daughter I have. She truly is one in a million. I just hugged her. :) Reading your stories about daily struggles and coping is not only inspiring, but a real lesson to living life to it's fullest, and dealing with what life throws at you. Major kudos.

Oh, and for those who care...now that evening stall cleaning and feeding is done, one more lesson and three more horses to work, when it cools off a bit more. Argh, Summer in the Desert! But our evenings are phenomenal.

joanna said...

Most of the people she featured were already on the web. They put themselves out there. You, however, posted her address that she did not put online. You had to research it and expose it. That is stalking. I'm sorry she featured you at one time. Maybe she was to harsh and really hurt you. But is this really the grown up, mature way to handle the situation? Can't you confront her directly, through a phone call or e-mail and ask for an apology? Do you have to utterly destroy anyone that annoys you? That, my dear, is cause for therapy. Let it all go and get on with your life. Please. For your health- mental, physical and spiritual.

JohnieRotten said...

This is almost as bad as an HOA meeting

JohnieRotten said...

This is the Harper Valley PTA meets the Internet.

joanna said...

Gah- I never go to ours.

horspoor said...

I tend to subscribe to:

"Living well is the best revenge."

Just saying.

But some days I'm tired, or fed up. I drop a few levels and can be nasty. Kind of thinking of heading there today. lol

CharlesCityCat said...

JR:

I have decided not to return to TGAO anymore. I choose to visit "The Hood" from now on.

While I have done my share of contributing to the debacle that this is, I won't contribute any further.

I am going to admit to being a big goof head. I do realize that this is the internet, but I have enjoyed my interactions with many of you on various blogs. Unfortunately, TGAO blog has turned so negative, that I can't deal with it anymore.

I will be happily visiting JR's Neighborhood on a regular basis.

***Exits With Southern Belle Smarminess***

Hoof Kisser said...

Aw thanks SFTS. But I already know I'm cute and sweet
but you sure do have a hard time dealing with the truth.
I realize the mentally ill do have problems in regards to reality so I urge you to please get yourself some help.

JohnieRotten said...

I hear ya CCC

It has gotten bad here. I had thought we could have a little fun here on other topics besisdes SFTS against the world. But I am not sure that is possible.

I have to admit that it is not just SFTS's fault.

I will take a vote at this time.

Sound off if this blog needs to go away or if we can move on!

SFTS said...

*LOL* ^^

SFTS said...

No, JR, it certainly isn't just my fault. In fact, none of this nonsense has been my fault.

Honestly, I could care less is this blog stays or goes. For a few folks, their words have already been saved, so even if the blog disappears, their comments will live on.

I have no problem moving on, as evidenced by 99% of my comments on this blog for the last day or so, and the wonderful conversations, learning and interaction that has transpired on my own blog. But that does not seem to be true for a couple of angry people (and we all know who they are).

You are so right, Joanna. Damn.....about pretty much everything...

joanna said...

SFTS- I have learned there are very few things in this life that truly matter. One of them just fell asleep on my shoulder. You know what I mean?

Hoof Kisser said...

That would be "I couldn't care less."

Shut it down JR!

horspoor said...

I don't think it will matter if this is shut down or not. It will go wherever we move to. There are those that just can't quit. You do not have to respond to every comment. You don't have to always play the innocent superior bitch. It gets old. People are tired of it. Okay, maybe not everybody, but a healthy amount of us.

This will probably spur another long winded diatribe. Oh well.

Dena said...

JR you know as well as the rest of us that SFTS will only follow over there and then it will be a short time before she starts with her not so subtle attacks on you and/or whoever.

As long as, we are sounding off.

There is one thing that has bothered me.
In setting boundaries for your blog you never made it clear that you would not tolerate disrespect of those closest to you in your own space.
To be honest it kind of offended me.
That you would allow Stacy Nichols/SFTS whatever to disrespect your own family.
And still maintain your neutrality.

That is just my opinion. It is just something that has irritated me from time to time.
It has seemed to me in maintaining your neutrality you have sacrificed a small piece of what should be your right to defend your own.
I am certainly not saying that CutnJump is not completely capable of slinging the bitch in question out with the trash one handed if she so chose.
But Duuuuuuude WTF!?!

Again it is just my opinion.

And JR it is none of my business. But I will share that I cannot understand why you tolerate someone whose only goal is to undermine everything you present?
Because even though you are in AZ she still perceives you to be the competition.

I really don't expect an answer. And I am not trying to be bitchy to you.
I enjoy reading what you present with regard to training.
I think it is cool that you don't go all rabid on anyone.
But I also think that you have handed the keys to your blogs to SFTS and she is driving your vehicle.

And just maybe the ones of us who are screaming the loudest are the kids in the back of the bus saying, "This is not the ride we signed up for either."

flying fig said...

JR - I wish this blog could stay... as an alternative to the Hood where we can fret about bad show moms, expensive horses for little kids etc. and other assorted oddities of the horse world.

I wish it would not serve as yet another stage for neverending crusades and campaigns. I am beyond weary of being held to task for every opinion/concern and even for dealing with my job and living my life as opposed to attending to any drama. I do not mind if people disagree with each other/me - but the namecalling, sneering, fingerpointing and threats (often just for having a different opinion) are OTT. Not to mention hints of "investigations"...

But you are the head honcho here - and your opinion is the only one that matters. It is your call.

*...she said in a small, unimportant voice*

horspoor said...

Dena,
I think he was trying to take the high road. Set an example. Model good behavior and manners befitting a host. You can't be responsible for the poor behavior of your guests. You can be embarrassed for them. You can choose not to invite them back. But you are not responsible for their behavior.

Kaede said...

Plain ol' ill behaved kids are much more common than kids on the Autism spectrum. I've always wondered why parents are scared that their kid won't like them. If they are teens, they WONT like you no matter what. As for little kids, they are going to love you no matter what.
Just give up the idea that you can be their friend. You are their parent. You get to set the limits and boundaries, at least til they have their own paycheck and transportation.

JohnieRotten said...

Perhaps it is time for all of us to take stock in the rolls that we have all played here. Certainly we are not all innocent bystanders as to what goes on.

SFTS, to you I have only this to say. As I have read back through some of the old posts, you are not as innocent as you portray yourself to be. I am not only picking on you, but maybe you need to look in the mirror and if you can say thay you have caused none of this to be brought upon yourself, then that is your opinion. I have stated here many times that I do not care about your legal issues nor do I care about what your association with D. Delgado is. I just do not care, I had never heard of this Delgado feller, until someone brought his name into it, nor did I even know about his military position until you brought that up. You have continuously dragged your life all over the internet even though I have told you not to. If you think that people are flaming you, then quit putting logs on the fire.

I am not going to shut this blog down because you all can not get along on every topic. I have stated that I do not want 3rd party names mentioned here and I would hope that you all are mature enough to respect that request. I believe you all are.

Dena, as far as my neutrality is concerned, if I block one person, then I have to moderate, and to be honest, I am way too busy and I do not have the time or energy to do so all day.

I am not going to moderate this blog as I have said, the title of it says it all. The Gloves are Off. You are free to post here or not, that is entirely up to you.

Kaede said...

On perfume: My favorite is Demeter's "Rain" the best. It smells just like rain after a dry spell. I'm sure heaven will smell like that.

JohnieRotten said...

One other thing that I want to add, and that is this.

I really started this blog so that you all would have a place to go and vent about horse show behavior and other such topic that can be posted.

I want to do this so it stays off of my traing blog as I take training horse very seriously. Though I do have a sense of humor, I want people to learn for their experience in the Hood. Not have to deal with a bunch of bullshit!

joanna said...

Kaede- So true! My kids complain that I'm mean and I tell them "Good. I'm doing my job! I'm not here to be nice, I'm here to raise you to be respossible adults". Then I get glared at.

endure_2_the_end said...

OT - funny but gross
Especially the 2nd para - a repeat offender, WTF? Sorry South Carolinians, you guys are WEIRD.
http://au.news.yahoo.com/a/-/mp/5761803/man-charged-with-having-sex-with-horse/

joanna said...

Oops. I mean responsible.

Dena said...

HP I know. But that is the point. You can't uninvite SFTS and know that she will abide by your decision.
When I went to fhotd I did not go with the intent of shaking hands and making friends.
I went to fight.
Plain and simple. I felt I had the absolute right to defend myself, my family, my horses, my life, every fucking thing that people unknown to me and mine decided to make their business and their entertainment.

What SFTS fails to recognize is that SHE HERSELF made her life fodder for the masses.
Volunteered up her version to the land of anonymity.
So YES!!! SFTS YOU DID THIS TO YOURSELF!!!
Just like every other thing that has happened in your miserable excuse for a life that was a direct result of your own poor choices.
For fucks sake you ridiculous woman. Everyone knows you live in a camp trailer.
You make mention of your daughter. No one here really does.
But I will say this WHY in God's name do you hang on to those horses and cause your daughter to live in what can only be termed unstable and unfit conditions?
Why do you spend so much time in cyberspace trying to convince everyone from anonymity how wonderful your life is?
Instead of making some effort to give your child a leg up in life!?!
Were I homeless and without financial resources you can bet your ass that the horses would be the first thing to go.
Not the last!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And if it is a choice between my child and them I wouldn't be splitting hairs about whose truck and trailer they left in!
It is no wonder you attack others. It is no wonder that after 30 years in the business you have fallen farther than you ever rose.
I could care less what you choose to do with your life as long as it doesn't involve harming others.
But you have been begging for a whupping and by GOD here is the verbal.
You suck! You are obviously unbalanced! You are a fucking freeloader!
And I begin to think you require more help than a Doctor could ever prescribe!
As for your knowledge with regard to horses and training you should have titled your blog EVERYTHING YOU SHOULD NEVER DO!

This shit!?! Here? Well I am sure there were some good intentions.
But it was originally created for SFTS and I as I recall.
By someone other than SFTS and I.
I do not believe that there was malice in the creation.
Nope...Not one bit.
But there are days I would like to tell some posters to get the fuck out of my room!!!
But they too think it is their absolute right to contribute their two cents.
So if one half of this room belongs to me and the other half belongs to SFTS and the room was built by JR what do you suggest as the answer to which host or hostess has the right to say, "Hey YOU get off of my cloud?"

And before I go do more things in real life I am releasing myself from all liability from my statements here.
None of this was my fault. It is never my fault.
I have never done anything to deserve being made a mockery of.
On the internet or in real life.
I am perfectly innocent of all wrongdoing.
Blahfuckingblah,blah, blah...

flying fig said...

Kaede - there used to be a perfume that smelled something like spicy oranges and cinnamon... I think it was called Aquamanda... and I have not seen it in many years. Does anyone else remember that?

Thank you, JR... yes - we have all played a role in these conversations - myself included. But those who play the biggest parts tend not to acknowledge that... but such is life. We just carry on as best we can...

BTW - yesterday it was 108 here. Today a cool 99. Arizona temperatures!! Take it back, plzkthnks! ;-)

endure.... ummmm... we have had similar episodes up here in the PNW. *coughenumclaw2guys1horsecough* Ick.

SFTS said...

I do know what you mean, Joanna. Sometimes I wish my own was still small enough to fall asleep on my shoulder, too. :)

JR, I have known and seen your [growing] bias over the past several weeks therefore I understand it, and as I have watched where it comes from it does make sense when I try to look at it from your perspective. It is something I cannot change, nor do I desire to. Because of your alliances, you will have those beliefs. So be it.

However let's be honest here about why you started this blog ~ for the arguments that take place elsewhere, and that it originally came from the nastiness on FHOTD. The catalyst for this was Dena going after me on that blog.

Flying fig, well said yet again. There are a few of you who see the forest beyond seeing merely the trees. But you know as well as I do, that which has already been said, those holding bitter hostilities for whatever reason (or such as in my case...for no reason) will follow with their venom no matter where any discussions go on. Be it here, JR's training blog, FHOTD when comments reopen, the Wench blog or wherever else they are allowed free rein to run roughshod over the good discussions.

Dena........jealous much?

horspoor said...

SFTS...I think you may be delusional. You are just as bad, if not worse than any other poster on this blog. As to seeing the forest for the trees...take your own advice.

Step back and look at this objectively. Remove your personal perspective if possible, and look at it without emotion. Look at your posts as someone else. Someone that doesn't know you, or can hear the tone of your voice. It may help you to see how others may perceive your posts.

horspoor said...

Back to perfume. Love perfume.

I love Organaza Indecence. They don't pronounce it indecence...of course. In de saunce ooh lah lah. lol

I still love chanel #5 and #19.

Also like Youth Dew, Norell, and a few others. Hey, they all cover the horse manure and sweat smells if you have to run to town quick. lol

DIllanDVillan said...

SFTS

I do not see a bias towrds anyone here by JR. He has been nothing but cordial to you, Dena and others that have said negative things about him on other blogs.

To me JR ses like an excellent host and someone that would help anyone if they asked for without any return.

Maybe you need to think about that before you start making claims that are unfounded

Cut-N-Jump said...

Tickets! Tickeeeeets...

Ice cold beer, folks get your ice cold beer...

Popcorn, cotton candy and peanuts. Got your Popcorn, Cotton Candy and Peanuts!

flying fig said...

Well said, horspoor. Wise words for some of the rest of us to consider as well. Myself included.

Dena & SFTS - you both have blogs of your own... why not go after each other on those blogs? Take turns hosting. Or go back to the blog entry here that is labelled specifically for the two of you and have it out there? You can goad each other to your heart's content... rage... carry on... and then the rest of us need not weave through it... or get sucked into it...

Just a thought....

Holy Crap. I googled that Aqua Manda perfume - and I found it!

Bwahaha!! And it even has an equestrian connection...

I'll have a Mack n Jacks African Amber draft, CnJ!! A fine local product!!

horspoor said...

OH, speaking of help.

JR! Remember the funky issue with the young arab mare. Felt ataxic, like she might fall. Had the vet look at her. Said...oh it's probably her feet. He was dealing with the eyes mainly that day. Still putting ointment in 4X a day by the way.

Well, it seemed to go away for awhile. It has now returned with a vengence. Her feet are fine. She feels unbalanced, and like you have no place to sit. It is a very bad feeling.

I'm going to check her again tomorrow. I'm actually going to do the tail pull to the side, and maybe do a stress test and see how she trots out. It's really odd. Head slinging. Like side to side, and will lose her balance and catch herself. She went to scratch her side the other day, lifted a hind leg, and about fell over. This was one of the handiest little horses I know. None of this is making sense to me.

fernvalley01 said...

Aww Cut ,I think it is long past beer , throws bottle of tequila and a bag of limes . I wont stay for the shit storm I way to tired these days to dive back in.
JR if you want to shut it dawn , go for it ,though sometimes if you cut the head off a snake... I am really enjoying the "hood" and glad you started it. It is a great place to learn and exhange ideas.Play safe all!

horspoor said...

I'll take some food and a Belgian Ale. CNJ...are we goin' to hell? lol

Kaede said...

Flying Fig, I love perfume, The rest of the warpaint not so much, but I love perfume.
The perfume you were remembering was by Goya it was called Aqua Manda.Try "Orange Cannelle" by Molinard. The name translates to orange cinnamon.

horspoor said...

I love the smell of the citrus perfumes. But anything that has citrus in it, immediately turns to Lemon Pledge on me. It's awful.

Dena said...

Fig shut up...God always the Pollyanna holierthanthou crap.
It isn't my fault I get sucked in while trying to weave through.
Why don't you make your own blog instead of always trying to stick your nose up someone elses ass looking for a clue?

CNJ fuck it. Bring on the 3 wise men. I take no responsibility for what I may spew tonight.

And to quote the famous toad stool bob DENA DENA DENA DENA DENA DENA DENA DENA DENA DENA DENA DENA DENA.
My name has been in print more times in the last eight months than the entire 43 years I have had it.

HP as I pretty much paved the path it should be a pretty smooth ride.

SFTS duct tape is not sold in any tack publication that I am aware of.
And it will not become popular no matter how much you use it on your's.
Oh great guru of equine practitioning.
Why is it that so many of your equine supplies come from the hardware store?
Duct tape, sand paper, nuts and bolts.

Dena said...

Estee Lauder "pleasures exotic". And Givenchy.
HP Pledge is good.
Anything that doesn't cause you to go OMG is that me on those quick little trips to town is good.

Kaede said...

Sayer's Law you all. I like this paper on the subject of Sayer's Law.

flying fig said...

>>But anything that has citrus in it, immediately turns to Lemon Pledge on me.<<

... now THAT ^^^ is seriously funny... but horspoor, at least you would smell like good furniture. *appreciative sniff*

Orange Canelle - thanks, Kaede. I will look into that for the rare semi-formal occasion that comes up.

horspoor - those symptoms you are mentioning are ringing a bell from my past... I'll search my failing memory and some convenient stable log books that I used to keep... that patient was also an Arabian mare...

JohnieRotten said...

Hp

sounds like wobbles but why later in life it wod appear I do no know. Other than that maybe EPM.

I had a Reiner years ago that ended up that had a spinal injury that also had simar symptoms.

Kaede said...

Flying Fig take a look at Demeter Fragrance Library. The perfumes are relatively inexpensive ($15.00 for a 1oz spray at Whole Foods)Their perfume smells just like what it is named. "Chocolate covered Cherries" is another great on as is "Grass" I love them all. I hide them around the house so Dear Son won't start wearing them. He has a hard enough time without smelling like his mother.

horspoor said...

Okay, none of that sounds good.

FF if you can find something I'd really appreciate any info you have.

JR...wobblers kind of but different. EPM is of course my biggest fear. I don't get the come and go quality of it. Wouldn't either wobblers or EPM be consistent, or progressive?

JohnieRotten said...

Ding Dong.

Avon calling.

Have I got a perfume for you!

JohnieRotten said...

HP

it would be cosistent. But with the spinal injury it would come and go as the inflamation got worse or went down. We think that horse ended up with the injury when he rolled in the arena one day

rosesr4evr said...

Holy shit storm Batman!!! I go away for a few hours and have a life like someone suggested that I do, and look at all this shit!!!

Damn it!! I've got shit on the walls, shit stains on the carpet, it's on the counter tops, all over the fresh clean laundry, hell there's even some in the fridge!!! Who in the hell gets shit in the fridge??? Now, I'm gonna be really upset if it got in the....

MoTher F@##$%!!! It did, it got in there too. I just cleaned all the toilets and I look in there and what do i see??? You got it....

SHTS was in there too. Oh well, I just flushed the toilet. Now...to clean up this mess.

Cut-N-Jump said...

Sorry folks, unlike someone else posting around here, I was actually UNDER one of our horses, as in trimming the front feet on the bay couch. JR was reading the comments to me and all I could think was beer and popcorn!

Now that I'm inside (and desperately needing a shower, and JR can attest to NO perfume in the world helping at this point!) I think I'll have that beer, plenty of variety in the fridge, hit the shower and maybe check back.

If not, well I trust you all to keep the cat poo buried in the sand and only throw the wet stuff as you see fit.

I need to go wash off the aude de' hoof.

horspoor said...

She's been on pasture. Any number of things they can do to themselves out there. It's odd though. I think she needs to go for a re-check on the eye issue. It was haba-something. Flies, parasites. We don't have this kind here. So she brought them with her from Bakersfield.

Ivermectin I guess is supposed to have taken care of them..but it didn't. I asked my vet...he said, "In theory Ivermectin should have killed them." But, he explained some horses even when the parasite is dead...have a reaction almost like proudflesh in the eye (ew!)..an over-reaction of the immune system that starts encapsulating the dead larva or whatever they are.

JohnieRotten said...

Roses

serves ya right fer tryin to git a life

Dena said...

Okay HP here is a weird one for you. Beautiful AQHA Bay Mare.
Big girl.
She goes to the trainers for 60 days does great.
Gets moved on to a different trainer for more finishing and in the last part of the 45 days starts bucking like there is no tomorrow.
Gets sent to another trainer who takes her to a chiropractor and gets diagnosed with EPM.
True story horse is still on meds for EPM.
Now as I am not any of the trainers involved but do know the last one on the list of exchanging hands I am like hmmmmmm...

Kaede Sayres Law of triviocity??? Is there a message in that?
I am sometimes kind of slow. And when I am fast I miss things sometimes.

JohnieRotten said...

Hp the only thing I know that will really kill everything is a Pancur Power pack.

horspoor said...

Yeah, the kid was supposed to start the PowerPak. She bought it, I don't know if she's given it to the mare yet.

She said the dose was too high. I said, it is supposed to be a double dose for 5 days. She was going to call the vet. If it makes her feel better..great. Maybe I'm wrong. Could be...been wrong before.

rosesr4evr said...

Okay, I will leave everybody and everything else out of this one.

How about I put it in words that you can understand Stacy??

I DON"T LIKE YOU!! Other people??? DON'T LIKE YOU!! You post idiotic drivel, jump in other people's convo's, you are a rude, lying, pathetic attempt as a horse trainer, spew mountains of contradictory bullshit, make up fabricated stories about your life so that even you don't have to face just how awful it has become, even though it never was all that great to start out with.

You really are like a STD...No one really wants you around, they're embarrassed to be seen with you, to have been associated with you, and you're as hard to get rid of as an outbreak of herpes and just about as welcome!!

I swear if I had any acyclovir, I'd shove it down your throat already. Go away you steaming pile of crotch pustules!

I will repeat it so maybe you can grasp the concept: I don't like you!!

horspoor said...

Dena,
I can tell you straight up from personal experience...EPM SUCKS.

It is a sneaky bastard. It will present as a zillion other things. My vets thought he was an injury. Horse had had no signs of fever nothing. Couldn't get up.

Other horse..fine. An hour later leaning on the stall wall to hold herself up. Vet again thought injury.

Treated both with DEX. Guess what...Dex is like pouring fertilizer on EPM.

DIllanDVillan said...

Maybe we need to get an expert from Sunlit Farm Training Services to diagnose the problem with your mare.

I know. That was tactless. Save your energy JR I just beat myself with the rolled up newspaper.

HP

I do hope the best for your horse.

horspoor said...

Roses....
Just a hair over the top..don't ya think?

Serendipity said...

What the fuck?

I had an absolutely perfect day. Got up at the crack of noon, registered online for the tri-county fair (okay, -that- part was a pain in the ass), had a wonderful ride on the redhead, and when I last viewed this thread everyone was sharing their experiences with autism. What the hell happened?

Oh wait, Crazy Dena happened. I'm beginning to see a trend here.



Joanna- You missed the part when she first showed up and posted the home address of a woman named Cathy Atkinson in Seattle . Yes, some random woman with the same name as a very controversial blogger, had the place where she sleeps at night posted on a site where at least one of the trolls is mentally unstable. That one she later deleted, either because she realized it was a pretty fucked up thing to do or because that one did have the immediate potential to bite her in the ass.


SFTS- I know you won't listen to me more than you listened to anyone else, but I'll tell you the same thing.

Just let this go. It's gotten beyond silly. If someone posts to antagonize you, scroll by without reading. If they troll your journal, delete them without responding. Get an email you don't want to read? Into the trash unopened it goes. Clowns don't perform without an audience.

You say you're defending yourseld against libel, but you're just letting yourself be led on in an endless back-and-forth. You can't win these ridiculous arguments, and you've got nothing to gain by trying. You don't even enjoy Whack-a-Troll as much as I do.

Besides, I have never seen JR to be anything but fair, and I've been on Blogger longer than him or his wife.



Perfumes? Don't wear any. Most hair/skin care products are so heavily scented it's excessive to wear something else.

Now if we're talking air fresheners, something sweet in the oven or crockpot is all I need. I like to return to a home that smells like apple crisp. Mmm.

SFTS said...

Dena and roses...as if I could give a shit what either of you think. I do find it seriously amusing that you try so hard to make your point known. Read what others, many others, have written to you both. Not your few buddies here, I'm talking about the masses who have told you endlessly to STFU and go away.

I'm in the middle of an IM conversation with a client who owns a National Champion stallion and we're busy planning out his performance career. Have fun folks, I know I am.

rosesr4evr said...

Flying Fig,

Thanks for the reply. Sorry that you felt that I was being impatient about that. I will try to do better in the future.

Dena said...

Ouch...Wow...no one ever said anything that bad about me...ever...

roses??? I think you should maybe step to my side of the room.

and before anyone says anything roses has worked in health care that is why she knows the names of these things.

roses they do not have bold or italics to emphasize that kind of snap.
Damn girl...I thought I went off.

It is good to have friends who know big words and aren't afraid to use them.LOL

JohnieRotten said...

HP

the Power packs are designed to be a mega dose hopefully she will get it and it will help.

Serendipity said...

Sonuvabitch, every time I post the topic has moved on.

But I actually got a real word this time: oveking. Whatever the fuck that means.

flying fig said...

Chocolate Covered Cherries??!! ... I would gain ten pounds just sniffing that!!!

HP - I actually put my hands on the right notebook in the bookcase... and the first page was about Maria, the black Arab mare in question. Waaay back then I kept a stable log... a good habit that I have sadly abandoned through the years. I should start doing that again.

Maria would fall over when trying to scratch herself with a hind leg... sling her head back and forth... had trouble stepping up the "curbs" into the stalls... and could not walk a straight line. We hauled her through the mountain passes to a state of the art equine vet clinic in Alberta where she had had cancer surgery a few years earlier. My memory was right (rare instance!) - it was wobbles - spinal cord compression. Cervical vertebral stenotic myelopathy/CVSM. It can develop later in life as well - I remembered that Seattle Slew had surgery for it when he was older - I looked that up here for you.

Maria was 17 when this happened - and had already had a bout with that cancer in her jawbone a few years earlier. The examination for the the CVSM also showed new cancer lesions higher up in her jaw... and in the end the kindest thing to do was to put her down. I loved that mare.

But your mare is young - and it may not be wobblers/CVSM at all... I hope it is just a temporary issue that can be resolved...

Kaede said...

CnJ:Demeter has FOUR perfumes for you,
Red Head in Bed, Riding Crop, Stable and Saddle.

horspoor said...

Yeah JR, that's what I told her. She wants to double check with the vet. She bought it at the vet's office. lol

rosesr4evr said...

Does he realize that there's a good possibility that he might, in the future, have to see you in court??

If not, someone should warn him. OH and isn't it hard to plan a stallion's show career when you are suspended?? Or did you finally take care of that little snafu?

SFTS said...

Understood and applied, Serendipity. See, we all sometimes fall off that wagon, even the best of us. ;)

horspoor said...

Thanks FF.

That sucks. It really sounds similar though. SHIT! How do I tell this kid, this is a possibility with her horse. Maybe I just chickenshit out on it, and take her to the vet for a re-check on her eyes...and push the vet for a full exam. He makes the big bucks...he can tell her.

I figure whatever this is going on with her, it isn't good. Beyond my abilities to identify or fix. I'll just have to push my vet harder on it.

rosesr4evr said...

Spinal stenosis is very difficult for humans, I can't imagine what that would be like for a horse that's expected to carry weight.

Poor girl. I hope you find out what's wrong and that you can help her.

LOL: word veri was ripsym

Serendipity said...

Kaede- Are those for real? I keep looking for an indication it's a parody site, then I go, 'OMG, Play-Doh perfume!' and I hope it's not.

Dena said...

I'm sorry I am currently in the middle of a conversation with Sheik Abbidoodoo.
He just landed his flying saucer and wants me to return to his planet to oversee the future of his entire herd of speshul stallions with 3 balls.
Your opinions are so important to me but I just don't have time for you right now.
I am sorry SFTS but I have never in my life been high enough to follow you there.
You can't show in breed shows but people with money and very expensive stock want you to plan their horses future?
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH...
roses it isn't even fun.
She and Serendipity think they are on troll patrol and the dumbasses don't even know that they are the targets.
Wackadoodle much???

rosesr4evr said...

Did I somehow miss where SFTS was talking to herself?? She said that everyone has told me to STFU and go away. Is she deaf or just dumb??

rosesr4evr said...

I'm going outside for a smoke.

Maybe SFTS can get me whatever she's puffing on. I might throwup afterwards (allergic) but I might have to give it a try, cuz obviously she's got some REALLY good shit out there in Phelan.

Kaede said...

Serendipity they are real and I love them ALL. Got a big meeting with a big donor to the museum? Wear "PlayDoh", keep him/her guessing what is going on. "Cotton Candy" is good for that too. Feeling down and underappreciated? "Birthday Cake" does it for me.

Serendipity said...

Stay classy, crazy racist Dena.

JR, I've been saying that it's your blog and you should run it how you see fit. But if it's just going to turn into a place for racial parody, it might be good to just let it go.

(For the record, it is no more socially acceptable to parody Middle Eastern names than it is to call a Jew an anti-Christ. Exactly where is this shit funny?)

horspoor said...

You know...I'm not sure if there were two nastier people on FHotD at one point in time than me, and CNJ. We relished eviscerating the wannabe trolls. We waited impatiently for them to show up on Fugly...open season baby.

We didn't cuss them out, and hurl vile unfounded accusations (std's? please ladies) at them. Nor did we call out their familes, or talk about their children or loved ones. We went after them. Looked for the chinks in their armor in their posts. Everybody has a tell. It shows through in their writing, what they post, and how they post it. We were at one time a pretty good tag team. The fun kind of went out of it with the 3000. It had never gone to the point that somebody was bothered at home. That their homes and lives were disrupted.

I can honestly say I've never gone to someone's site and posted vile crap. Never gone to a YouTube video and posted nasty comments. Never looked for anyone's home address or numbers. If they came to the blog...fine, I'd fight the fight there...and it stayed there.

This crap is over the top. If there are laws broken, people endangered deal with it through the proper avenues. This, the internet and blogs is not the proper venue for this.

rosesr4evr said...

Oh for shit's sake uppity!!

Get a fucking sense of humor. You were probably one of the people wanting all the "man" names to be taken out of our history books.

Like for instance: there are no more cavemen, just cave people, and so on. Check out the Colbert Report tonight, it's funny and sad.

Serendipity said...

Horspoor- Agreed 100%, you're making me nostalgic. It's one thing if they come to your stomping grounds to make spectacles of themselves. It's another thing to follow someone back to their personal blog and troll in retaliation.

Even if I've visited certain blogs a couple times for sadistic amusement, I've never left any posts or harassed them through emails. I don't even leave nasty messages on YouTube. The whole point of commenting on a snark blog is to keep it there so it doesn't spill out anywhere else.

rosesr4evr said...

Not everything on here is a racist slur. Just b/c Dena mentioned an Arab (made up)sheik, doesn't mean there is anything racist behind it!! Arabian horses were originally bred by...yeah that's right ARABS. It was over the top b/c SFTS lives in a world of her very own speshul fantasies. Where nothing is ever her fault, everyone's out to get her, that she's not in need of slimming stripes, and that she has customers beating down her door.

For shit's sake if that's the best you can do, find another sandbox to take a shit in

rosesr4evr said...

Wait a minute...she does have customers beating down her door!!


They're trying to take her to court!

Cut-N-Jump said...

Kaede- I'll see your foo-foo drinks and raise you a Mikes Mango, a lite lemonade, a couple of Corona's, a land shark or two, a couple of Blue Moons, a Harvest moon, a winter moon, some Hoergarden, Stella Artios, some kind of 'berry' beer, and a raunchy reindeer. Then a few swigs of vanilla, coconut, banana, raspberry and passion fruit rums, a bit of tequila, some mojito mix and half a bottle of ready made margaritas...

It would be amazing if anyone was still standing.

I almost forgot the Jamesons and Bushmill! How bad of me to think of doing that?

rosesr4evr said...

Just a note for you uppity, she has come here! We don't go to her. She can leave if she wants and not come back, in fact that's what we've been trying to accomplish.

She really is a succubus, once she's been invited in, you can't make her leave.

horspoor said...

Great CNJ....we don't have to out think them anymore...we'll just puke on them. lol

JohnieRotten said...

I wonder if they have these problems on Twitter?


Hmmmmmmmmm!

horspoor said...

OH,...and I'll have the Bushmills. Neat...thank you.

Dena said...

Ummm...I never called a Jew the anti-christ.
As for Sheik Abbidoodoo I had outer space in mind not the Middle East.

HP I don't disagree on principle. There are a few semantics that could be argued with regard to comments made based off the presentation/feature, however, I happen to know that you and CnJ never intended harm to any individual.
And anything that you have all posted since the 3000 has been somewhat with that in mind.
I also happen to like you both.
Because your armor mostly shines.
That said, I did let this go the proper authorities.
Anything else I may post these days is within the boundaries of what I think and what I feel like expressing based on what has been presented.
And not unlike roses the simple truth is, I do not like SFTS.
Not here and not in real life.
Serendipity just reminds me of Winona Ryder in Beetlejuice.
Fig just irritates me when she rides both sides of the fence and switches when she gets called on either.
I honest to God do not hate anyone who posts here.
But I do not like SFTS. To be honest any association with her is kind of scary.
So I don't want one.
She clings because in her mind if I am acceptable to some than she will be too.
That is the association I deny.
Because I have never in my entire misguided life blamed everyone but myself for my own problems.
I have also worked very hard to stop being my own problem.
I do not wish to be confused or miscatagorized with SFTS ever!!!
And no one ever said SFTS has STDs there were however some implications that her popularity and welcome might be comparable to one or several.

horspoor said...

Okay, I'll take a beer back to chase it.

Serendipity said...

CNJ- What about Creme de Menthe?

Made adult shamrock shakes a couple days ago. So much better than McDonald's, and not just because of the booze.

flying fig said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
JohnieRotten said...

Awwwwwww the famous 3000. Yes that was a night that went absolutely no where. I wore out the refresh key on the computer that night. My ass left a permanent imprint in the chair that night.

Dena said...

HP this one is for you. I feel, very, unsatisfied. The decor, of, the room, JR has,
built, for me, is not, of, my liking.
I do not think, it is fair, that, I should, have to share, a room, with someone, who, has issues, of this, "magnitude."
Where the fuck is the Daddy who will buy me a new one???

flying fig said...

Why does Blogger not have an edit feature after the fact?? That is soooo annoying when you are anal enough to want to fix lousy typos.

Anyway - excellent post, horspoor. I used to love to broil trolls as well on other forums... but never called them vulgar names. I have commented on some YouTube videos - but nothing even remotely nasty. Usually praise for dog stuff. I have never looked up anyone's name and address - except for old friends who were delighted that I found them. I guess I suck at that kind of stuff. I said earlier that the blogs were not the place for all this to be discussed... and I still quietly stand by that opinion. The side of the fence one is supposedly on may change depending on the topic... that should go without saying.

Kaede - I have no need for Stable perfume... I smell like that all the time. I only really notice it if I have had to dash in to the grocery store... and am waiting in line thinking... geeeez.... someone smells like horse poop - and then realize that it's me. Barn shoes and all...

I'll have a nightcap - a very large frozen lime margarita please... salted. Lots of salt...

Dena said...

Yes JR, the infamous ass meld...
You are now a Trekky icon.

roses you did not imply that a certain dip has ties to a historical island in the Aegean sea did you?
no I must have misunderstood.

horspoor said...

OMG....Christopher Walken is back. lmao

Oh, blueheron will love this.

We were at the barns in town one evening. Heading on toward dusk. Well, some of the women there feed the cats along the edges of the stalls. Well, skunks come and eat the catfood (hmmm wonder where the epm came from).

So blueheron comes out of one of my stalls...and walks into a skunk. Yup, she got sprayed. Just on the bottom of her pants. Didn't think it was too bad at the time.

We were going to go grocery shopping to get some stuff to make dinner. We are walking through Winco. People would walk by, and sniff...and then look around and up at the ceiling. Just cracked me up. If you smell skunk in Winco why would you look at the ceiling? lol

Oh, blueheron had driven her own car into town. Thank you god. lol

SFTS said...

Very well said HP, and I know we don't get along any more, but I wanted to concur. Same to you, Serendipity. When things get this out of hand, the insanity is just totally over the top.

I'm heading off to bed now, and know this mess will still be here, probably with more disgusting insults hurled my way from Dena, roses and their friends, when I check in the morning while the horses are eating their breakfast.

Does any of it have a bearing on my life? Joanna, you were right. Nope, it doesn't. I do know what is truly important, family, good friends, fabulous clients, incredible horses and, as HP put it, living well really is the best revenge, not that I have ever been interested in revenge of any sort.

Good night. Life awaits tomorrow. :)

Kaede said...

TRIVIOCRACY: It was suppose to be a dumb joke, Dena. In some large business (I mean really large, thousands of people employed, the top doesn't know who they are managing.) mid and upper level management will get into huge fights over what seems to outsiders (read: investors) to be trivia. These fight no relationship to the stated goal of the organization (make lots of money for example) nor do they further the careers of the participants. But man, these in fights are bloody! Example: We must only get our coffee filters unbleached. The corporation is in the business of making chips for computes. Nothing to do with coffee filters,no even a vertical monopoly like McDonalds. But the people involved in the decision making sometimes will get so hot and bothered about trivia (the coffee filters)that they forget the goal of the company (make computer chips that sell) and they forget their own goal (stay employed). Instead they spend their social capital in getting people on their side of a useless argument. Sayre's Law reads "Academic politics is the most vicious and bitter form of politics, because the stakes are so low." it is from Charles Philip Issawi (an Egyptian economist) law "In any dispute the intensity of feeling is inversely proportional to the value of the stakes at issue." He studied the Mideast crisis during the middle part of the last century and decided it was mostly trivial. Those folks in the Mideast wanted to war rather than solve anything.

horspoor said...

Leave it. No need to comment nasty. It was the best she could do. Ignore the comment regarding nastiness Dena & Roses. Really...what does it hurt.

horspoor said...

Well hell Kaede...

Now I know what my problem is. lol Grew up in a family full of academics (I was the blacksheep). The discussions at the dinner table, whew.

Bloggin is nothing in comparison. lol

rosesr4evr said...

when I check in the morning while the horses are eating their breakfast.


Good Fucking God woman!!! Stop checking!! We are trying to get you to GO AWAY!! and you just don't get it!! You're completely fucking hopeless. You are either a moron of the highest order or your masachictic streak lands you someplace other than in the court room and in a travel trailer with four bald tires and a coffee can to take a shit in!

Kaede said...

Trivia time! "Because your armor mostly shines."
"A knight in shining armor" use to be an insult, because it meant that rather than going out and doing what ever it was that knights did, they had time to polish their armor so it shone.

Dena said...

Kaede I got the joke. IT was my dry humor coming through.
Me and mine have also lived beyond P12-.
So outside of the box is where we try to always reside.
It got too cramped inside.
And loud...

JohnieRotten said...

I am thinking of a new reality show called Extreme Ice Bloggers.

horspoor said...

Well Kaede, that may have been the norm...but CNJ and I have soooo many serfs...they keep our armor really shiny. lol

rosesr4evr said...

Sorry I wouldn't have posted that if I had seen your post first HP!

But damn IT!

rosesr4evr said...

oh and CNJ??

Uh how bout just tossing that bottle of tequila over to me?? Would it happen to be Hussong's (sp?) or at the very least imported??

horspoor said...

No big Roses.

Dena said...

HP I am. I am also currently eating a good english muffin, with real butter, and peanut butter.
I want to make it as hard as possible to buck me off.LOL

horspoor said...

JR...see the red mare in the avatar. That's Cami. The Camiseta Badger daughter. Don't you own a brother, or cousin or something?

rosesr4evr said...

Yeah Dena and little more cushion when you do bite the dirt doesn't hurt either does it??

Well that's always been my excuse!

rosesr4evr said...

Why can't I see anyone's avi?? I can't even see my own ;-(

horspoor said...

OMG Dena, that sounds revolting. Butter and peanut butter. GAAK You were probably one of those kids that ate peanut butter and mayonaise sandwiches. wuuuhhh

Dena said...

I am so laughing over No big Roses. I read it with a totally different thought in mind.
No big Roses no tequila for you.
No big Roses don't kill the intruder.
And now I need a wardrobe change.

horspoor said...

Roses...see where it says subscribe by email? Click on that. When someone posts it will go to email. Then click on post a comment. It will open this blog in a new window with avatars.

you can then unsubscribe to the email..but keep the window with avatars open.

JohnieRotten said...

Hp

I have two 3 year olds by Little Camiseta who is an own son of Peppy San Badger

rosesr4evr said...

Actually it's really delicious!! Especially with some sliced bananas Mmmmm...

Damn...Now I'm hungry!

*goes off to kitchen lookin for a bite to eat*

JohnieRotten said...

HP either I am blind or the avitars are not showing up here

horspoor said...

JR,
Camiseta Badger, also an own son of Peppy San Badger...so they would be cousins. Right?

rosesr4evr said...

all i get are empty boxes


*whines really loud*

JohnieRotten said...

I like what I see, is that the mare with the problems

horspoor said...

mmm...kkkk

Click on subscribe by email

then when somebody posts...you'll get an email.

Click on 'post a comment'

Will open a new window with avatars.

JohnieRotten said...

Yes they would HP

I like the Camisetas

We almost ended up owning Little Camiseta,but were not able to buy him at the time.

Dena said...

Nope HP. That is revolting... Ewwwwww. You have to make sure the butter is soaked in real good and then nuke it for 10 sec with the peanut butter.
Yummy...

It depends how you land roses. I have noticed they can't fly me on the end of a line like the tail on a kite anymore.
And the reflex punch for the biters has become much more effective.
But one must have moderation.
I always say if it comes to a stage where the belly protrudes farther than what rides above things might have to change.LOL

horspoor said...

No, the one with problems is a student's arab mare.

Cami's only problem is an awful canter. Well, that's not really fair...and undeveloped canter. I make a circle or two and go..."UGH...the hell with this." lol

«Oldest ‹Older   1 – 200 of 1071   Newer› Newest»