Saturday, December 19, 2009

Perhaps it is time to look in the mirror!

I removed the last thread for the very reason I put it up. I was fed up with the bullshit that seems to follow one individual. But at the same time, and this is because of Dena's last comment, who are we really helping when we allow these things to go on.

And Dena, I do thank you for opening my eyes!

What I have to say may shock some of you, but I really have no personal ill will towards SFTS, I just do not agree with the way that she approaches certain things. And I often wonder why she does not tell the truth as to what is really going on.

I am aware that things with a certain individual and SFTS have gone way out of control and I have to ask myself, what really perpetuated all of that?

I remember back at sometime last year that there was a thread on FHOTD about a certain teenager, and that is where it started, and quite frankly in this horseman's opinion, that is where it should have ended!

Maybe, like a lot of us that used to post there, SFTS got caught up in the moment, and in her efforts to try to help she went too far.

But the creation of this blog originally for SFTS and Dena, while at times I think was a terrible mistake, was only started in an effort to try to get them to work out their own differences. And I decided later that we could use this blog to discuss rant over other issues that need to be discussed.

I only hope that SFTS is able to work through her issues, and if she needs some sort of help, then I will offer only what I can.

As of this time, and with Dena and SFTS's permission, as this is their blog, I would like to move on and change the topics. No more time will be given to SFTS as a topic on this or any other Rotten blog.

Only when we look in the mirror, can we seek the path to personal growth and enlightenment!

Please feel free to post your thoughts.


Crazy3dayer said...

Wow..very nice

Dena said...

Why..Mr. and Mrs. Rotten(who are anything but BTW) how very pleased and proud I am to call you my friends.
Good show...

Dena said...

Roses you can be any way you want to be.
You are always first rate in my book...

Dena said...

I have been thinking about something for a while now.
And maybe it is time to get it out.

I noticed another pattern some time back.
It was what helped me to stop taking SFTSs attacks on me personally.

On paper I can be made to look pretty bad.
And if, I ever just accepted peoples responses to my paper persona I might not have any friends.

I have a wicked sense of humor that allows me to twist and spin much into laughter.
I am not so proud of myself when I use that wicked wit to slay another in a bad way.
But I also do have a wicked temper.
Which sometimes gets the best of me.
And for the most part I do not lie.
Or, misrepresent my self or my situation.

I think the only reason I ever drew her fire is because people were willing to give me what she perceived they were not willing to give her.
A second chance.

Time told the story for me. In that it allowed people to know me.
They made their own decisions about me.
But I think a person only has so many chances to be real.
And real is so much more believable.

Unfortunately, I think JR also said a mouthful and then some.
The world is not out to get SFTS. But it often seems she is out to get the world.
Food for thought.

I am so broke this year all I can really extend to anyone is my well wishes.
And I am willing to extend those to the Nichols family.
With a prayer that their situation and hearts may experience great change in the very near future.

Merry Christmas Everyone... Happy Hanukkah if that is your flavor.
And just plain Happy Holidays to ALL...

GoLightly said...

Amen, Dena.
Exactly, JR. 'nuff said.

Life is too short.
Enjoy the ride while you can!

Merry Christmas to all.

Kindest scritches and warmest schlobberers to all your lucky horses.
Tell them I still miss them?

fernvalley01 said...

Well done JR

rosesr4evr said...

I can respect all that was said and can even agree with it. I'm not so bad a person that I wish any kind of ill will to her or her family. I just wish she could "get real" and stop with the out to get the world before it gets her kind of thing. If she could just come clean, try to do things in a different way, then it wouldn't be so bad.

I'm sure she has a wealth of knowledge and it's a pity that it all goes to waste with the way that she presents it or in what she chooses to present to others.

That is what is sad. A lifetime with horses and no real anything to show for it except for what has been listed here multitudinous times. The point is that I know she could be so much better. The squandering is a real turn off.

We all know you don't have to own horses to know horses or to help others with their horses. I wish I could see that she's trying to better her life situation and that of her family instead of making them suffer and do without just to try to realize her dreams. I wish she could extend a helpful and knowledgeable hand without the condescending bite.

My problem stems from that I have very little patience with people at times. Give me an animal and I can wait all day in the boiling sun or the bitter cold for one little show of "try". People?? Not so much.

If I knew of a way to help her, to better herself, anything that didn't involve giving her a hand out, then I would be all for it.

Anyway, I'm sure some of that didn't make sense. Here's wishing EVERYONE a very Merry Christmas indeed. I hope that each and every one of you have Happy Holidays.

nccatnip said...

Well said, JR. It boils down to compassion and heart and these readers have boatloads of it. Pity those that do not recognize the good for what it is.

Everyone have a very Merry Christmas and a safe and wonderful holiday season.

phaedra96 said...

I think all of us have moments(days, weeks, years?) we are not proud of and wish they could disappear forever. Some of it does; some comes back to haunt us. Those who chose to use that as a weapon to hurt with deserve what comes back on them. Those who choose to overlook it and see the person beyond and appreciate that person finds a good person to appreciate. WOW. Sure hope that makes sense. All of us can look good for a few moments. Maintaining the good means we are inherently good. Bad things happen to good people. How we move past that and make a good life from there defines who we are and how much good is in there. Kudos to all who came back here and said "Let us give this crap up and move on". 'Tis the season to forgive and forget and start anew. I raise my hat to that. Merry Christmas to all and a Happy New Year.....

CharlesCityCat said...

JR, thank you. I had decided some weeks ago to not be a part of it any longer, which is why I did not post on that recent thread. When a disagreement degenerates purely into name calling and insults, no one learns, no one improves and no one wins.

Happy Holidays to everyone!!!

Crazy3dayer said...

I wasn't around when all the BS started. I just have to 2nd what has been stated. I am very sarcasitc, I've found that most people on this blog actually get it.

It angers me that people walk around beating their breast about how horrible they have it. We all have burdens..mine might be trival to yours and vice versa.

I'll be honest my first reaction is to strike out to those folks..but like most have stated here..WHY? What does it gain? Nothing.

I've realized that in that last 37yrs of horses I don't know SHIT! Heck..just ask JR..I'm usually asking him or CNJ or all of you advice.

I'm working on turning over a new leaf and it's flipping hard.
But reading everyones comments makes it alot easier.

Anonymous said...

When you think about it, it only seems that we all are extending the hand of friendship to SFTS but she is not willing to do the same.

Now wonder, is she really that selfish?

I am not trying to go against the grain and the spirit of this post and we all know that she is reading it. And it takes a person with a big a heart to say all of these things, JR Dena Roses etc, yet SFTS apparently can only see it as some sort of trick.

This is a good thing that JR has done here and I can appreciate it!

rosesr4evr said...


She can choose to see it however she wants. The Truth is that the majority of people here are inherently good people. The kind of people that would give you the shirt off their back if need be.

I realize that you can't make a blind person see. And that's the real tragedy here, is that she is totally blind to how she puts herself out there and especially saddening, is that she is blind to her situation, as well as, that of her family's situation. It's hard to accept that some people would rather hurt others than to make a change in their life.

She COULD be a good person. Lots of things are possible for all. But like anyone who's damaging themselves with their behaviors(drugs, alcohol, lies, etc.) the people around them can't force change. You can't FIX anyone like that. THEY have to decide they actually need help. And even then, it's THEM that have to do the fixing. I know from experience it's hard to sit on the sidelines and watch someone destroy themselves and hurt those around them. But sometimes, all you can do is watch.

GoLightly said...

14th, for good luck to befall someone, somewhere.

phaedra96 said...

GL, do you just hang around waiting, waiting, waiting so you can be.....14th? (snickering at the silliness that lightens the gravity going on here)

GoLightly said...

It's a dirty job, Phaedra, but someone's gotta do it;)

Dena said...

All you can do is scatter seeds. Some will take and some will not.
And some will be eaten by birds and other animals only to be shat out somewhere else and we may never see the fruits of our efforts.
Doesn't mean there wasn't fruit though.
I hear that is the beauty of the master plan.

SFTS said...

First, thank you JR for deleting the other post. That was a very nice thing to have done. You would be incorrect about one thing, however ~ I always tell the truth.

Thanks as well to those who have offered sincere apologies and well wishes. You know who you are (including those who emailed privately) and it meant the world to me.

To NewHorseMommy, your words on the other post were greatly appreciated, and even more so because they were from your heart. Thank you.

To CCC, you are one Hell of a lady. I admire you a great deal, thank you so very much for being you.

No, Dena, I am not out to get the world. Nor do I think in any way, shape or form "everyone" is out to get me. Just three pairs of people and a couple of other individuals, who have proven such time and again. They will get theirs, karma will prevail in the end. Thankfully my world is full of good friends who know the true meaning of friendship, as well as wonderful clients and their incredible horses.

I had to giggle at roses' comments about my being "blind" about how put myself "out there", how I am "blind" to my "situation", how I am hurting my family, how I am "damaging" myself and how I am "destroying" myself. Dear, my life and situation are fine, I have one of the strongest, most close knit families you could conceivably imagine and we are all in step with each other 110%, no matter how a couple of people in our community want to make you and your little circle of friends believe.

To Christine ~ me selfish?, I don't think anyone who truly knows me could ever come to such a conclusion. What you have seem to have forgotten in your venom is that people do know me in this community. Our most well respected equestrians, trainers, facility owners and exhibitors as well as ALL of those involved in ALL of our local equestrian organizations are all good friends of mine. None of your efforts are having any effect whatsoever on our lives, and no matter how hard you try to destroy me, you will not succeed. I will say it again: people here in this small, tightly knit community know me. Perhaps you can eventually move on with your life. I pity that you cannot let your hatred go. Someday hopefully you will find peace.

I am sure in the wake of this comment there will be another wave of attacks, likely most of them coming from "Anonymous". So be it. Though you can be certain I'll likely read them, I will not be back to take part in such nonsense any longer.

And JR? If it's okay with Dena (per your original post in this topic and your request), feel free to venture into other topics. They likely won't get as many comments as those attacking me, especially back in the "heyday" when I would join in, but good discussion is always a welcome thing in my book.

Anonymous said...


JR said it best....

Only when we look in the mirror can we can we seek the path to personal growt and enlightenment.

Those are words we should all live by. Perhaps we can learn more from JR than just horsemanship.

Anonymous said...


You apparently do not get it. These people offer you friendship and smugly throw it back into their faces. You have always been like this and always will be.

PrairieFarmer said...

Good show JR. Wasn't too fond of the other thread, saw no reason to join into the blood-thirsty fray.
One thing I've learned in life, there are very few people who are inherently evil. There are a lot who are screwed up royally. But how screwed up does it make me if I can't extend a bit of human compassion, empathy, or, if nothing else, hold my tongue when all I have to say is hurtful or mean. That helps... how again does that help? Unfortunately the anonymity of the internet - while it can be great in breaking down barriers and communicating - it also brings out the worst in people sometimes, it seems.
Kudos to you, and Dena, and everyone else. And to SFTS. Wishing you a happy holidays with your family for they are what is important.
Happy Holidays to everyone!

Cut-N-Jump said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

I missed out on the fireworks, I haven't been to this blog in months... anyway, I got this in an email from a good friend of mine. It really hit home on some points. I am going to cut and paste it.

Written by a 90 year old.
This is something we should all read at least once a week!!!!! Make sure you read to the end!!!!!!

Written By Regina Brett, 90 years old, of The Plain Dealer, Cleveland, Ohio
To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me. It is the most-requested column I've ever written.

My odometer rolled over to 90 in August, so here is the column once more:

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.
16.. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second oneis up to you and no one else
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words 'In five years, will this matter?'
27. Always choose life.
28. Forgive everyone everything.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
33. Believe in miracles.
34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.
35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.
37. Your children get only one childhood.
38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.
41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
42. The best is yet to come...
43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
44. Yield.
45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift."
Its estimated 93% won't forward this. If you are one of the 7% who will, forward this with the title '7%'.
I'm in the 7%. Friends are the family that we choose for ourselves


Cut-N-Jump said...

Sorry had to make a few small changes. My hands got ahead of my brain again.

sfts- the thread was pulled, and I did not post, but that was not because of your threats of subpoenas or 'see you in court'. Try getting through your current cases first, then just getting on with your life.

In reading your emails and the post above, all I have to say to you now is this- the truth will set you free.

Owning up to your mistakes, putting an end to all your lies, moving past your bullshit and opening your eyes to the reality of your position in life, such as you have created, is the only way things will get any better. Do something positive for a change- take responsibility for the things you do and have done.

This means quit blaming everyone else for the misgivings and shortcomings in your life. This also means dropping the attitude that the world owes you everything. Newsflash- it doesn't. Everything we have and everyone else here has- we all got it by doing something about it and working for it. The generosity to be found in this group can be astounding, but it does not come when the senders know the outcome will be squandered and unappreciated.

I for one, would be willing to put money towards your horses care or even rectifying and resolving your USEF suspension and fines, but, well that would be me throwing good money after bad. Especially knowing you had more than enough money to do so yourself and instead blew it on a native costume.

So for once do us all, yourself and your family a favor. Drop the attitude, tell the truth and choose a new outlook for the coming New Year. Do something about making positive changes in your life and those of others around you. Instead of biting the hands that feed you, try kissing them instead. You just may be surprised at the reaction you will get...

CharlesCityCat said...

WildCaballo, that was really great, lots of smiles and lots of truth!

Thanks for sharing it.

Dena said...

Hey WC I have that in my email too.
I love, love, love it...

SFTS sometimes it is necessary to admit that we lost in order to win.
Sometimes it is necessary for us to admit we got beat to begin healing.
And the hardest thing any of us will ever do is admit that we were wrong and brought the shit upon ourselves.

I told my husband if we ever won the lottery I would buy you and your family a house.
I just would not give you the title.
I told him I would set up an escrow account to pay the taxes.
And I would leave the rest to you and your management.
Because I believe that every family should have a home.

Am I applying for sainthood? Nope.
I just think that one thing has caused a spiral that has proven very hard to come out of.

If everything is as you posted? I am glad for you and yours.

Dena said...

P.S. please feel free to copy and paste that to hard copy.
And you may consider that a written contract.
If, I ever do win the lottery I will honor my end of it.

onmyway said...

SFTS I am not Anonymous. Knock off the BS.

rosesr4evr said...

Yeah??? Well, Rowan goes potty like a big boy! 16 months old and going on the potty!!

Check out the new avatar pic!! Too cute!! Although he'll probably hate me for it when he's older. HEE HEE HEE!!

SFTS said...

Dena, while I do appreciate your sincere offer and thank you for the thought, it is indeed incredibly generous, however the last time I accepted charity (which was the first, last and ONLY time I have ever done so) went so badly we're pretty gun shy. I am sure you understand.

I believe a far better alternative for funds you may win from the lottery in the future would be a secure fund for veterinary treatment or euthanasia of horses in need, such as those frequently seen dumped at the low end auctions across the country. Or at least something similar.

Let me continue by saying that absolutely, unequivocally in some ways we have lost. We've lost a great deal and I have never lied nor pretended it was any other way.

But brought it upon ourselves? Aside from making a few bad decisions (on my part those would be things like trusting people I never should have trusted and being taking advantage of ~ my fault entirely), we brought none of *this* on ourselves, and I think you are aware of what I am referring to with "*this*".

That said, have I made bad decisions to engage online at times? Of course, and as I regret doing so every single time, that is why I just haven't been responding. Some people are simply not worth arguing with, some people will simply lie and defame no matter what and I am above rolling in the mud with them any longer. No thanks.

I'm aware there are a few people who do not have the capability to move on and apologize and they simply are not worth my concern. As for the rest of you, and that includes you Dena, thank you.

Happy Holidays.

cattypex said...

One of my biggest regrets in life is letting go of my awesome Vandy mare. At least she went to good people (where I got her from), and had a satisfying final 1/4 of life.

But I was 21, sick, overwhelmed by many things in life that I should've been equipped to deal with better, but somehow wasn't.

So.... I learned.

Dated a string of unsuitable men, two of whom really did a number on my self-esteem. I learned.

Went for many years suffering needlessly from my Crohn's when surgery would've made my life so much better. I learned. (NEVER take good health for granted, people. It's a gift right up there with true friends and good family.)

We all make mistakes.

We have to then ADMIT that we made mistakes. It sucks sometimes, and it can make you feel like the world's biggest asshole, but then you have nowhere to go but up. SO many people in the world are always convinced that it's somebody else's fault, or are simply unable to apologize. My dad is like that. He's an awesome guy, a fun and effective dad, has worked hard all his life and taken amazing care of his friends and family, but he will never EVER apologize for anything he's done. That doesn't mean he's evil, but it's definitely a less-than-stellar quality, and it sometimes tarnishes the otherwise wonderful things he DOES accomplish. He will never be self-aware, and will be a little bit poorer in spirit for it.

I hit 40 this fall, and the older I get, the more I realize that "Mama Always Said" reallly smart things.

Anonymous said...

SFTS- try telling your story to Dr Phil. He should be able to help you sort it all out and maybe he'll buy it. Either way you will have been on national tv and really made a name for yourself...

Anonymous said...

Seems there are a few people in this world who simply cannot let go the nasty drama because it makes them feel superior to those they are stabbing. Too bad. I am posting this as anonymous because I certainly do not want the venom aimed at me. It is the season to forgive, and move on. No one benefits from wallowing in the past garbage, and none of us really know how someone else feels until we walk in their shoes. Adversity can make us stronger; or it can kill us. You choose.

JohnieRotten said...

It seems a few have missed the spirit of this thread. Maybe it is time to quit reading between the lines and focus on the words that are written.

There can be kindness in the world and not contempt.

But that has to be on all sides.

Merry Christmas everyone!

fernvalley01 said...

And a Merry Christmas to all of you as well.
This time of year it is good to remember that anger, hate, and judgement are wasted efforts. Finding the good , in other people and ourselves is a far more effective pastime.

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